All you leave behind is a reputation…

I wanted to write this week about something different, but I guess it will wait another week, as the loss of a friend has impacted me greatly.

Death is a hard concept. The feelings of loss from those you care for can be excruciatingly difficult, especially when people die at 52 years young. In my mind such a tragedy. She accepted everyone as family, and everybody reciprocated by calling her Sis. I met her when she was only 15 through her bigger brother. She was a big presence in any room, had an infectious laugh, told you her opinions, was strong-willed, but the most loving person you ever met, and did I mention, funny. Oh, my goodness, she could make you laugh. 

The funeral this week was so beautiful, sad, but beautiful. I went with my 20-year-old daughter, who wanted to support her dad and honor a lady who touched our family.  We found some seats, and as I looked around the packed auditorium, I started reminiscing which led me to tears. My daughter said, “Dad, the service hasn’t even started yet”. I replied, “I told you this was going to be a hard one for me.” I love this family, more than words can express. All of them! They are honestly what living a wholesome God-centered life is all about, sharing LOVE!

Sis’s mom, Joan, was a surrogate mom to every kid who entered her kitchen. No, she didn’t birth us from her womb, something more important, she taught us how to be born again with a renewed understanding of love. She listened, and gave hugs if needed, as she pushed another BBQ meatball in front of us. Joan was never too shy to tell us about the love she found in Jesus. Joan didn’t just talk about Jesus, she lived it, and so did Sis. Sis was sewn from the same cloth, loving, caring, hospitable, a love vessel, and did I mention funny. 

Forgiving was something that I did not think Sis had anything to concern herself with, apparently, she did. As I talked with old friends and got perspective of how Sis’s last days were spent, she was still giving wholesome Godly advice, but from what I understand, she asked for forgiveness from anyone she felt she had wronged over the years. This would not have been easy, because she had over 700 sign-in visitors over  10 days, confirmed and true.

"Yes, there were over 700 hundred sign-in visitations. Some were people coming back and forth, but there was a very steady flow of new faces during her 10 days in Hospice. Some days there were lines out into the hallway with others waiting in the lobby. It was pretty remarkable." Rog (Sis's brother)

Remarkable, indeed! Put that into perspective, 700 people went to see her on her deathbed, approximately 70 people a day.  Seven times seventy times, I think she put it to the test. She was a woman that will not soon be forgotten, she was a remarkable God-centered vessel, carrying love. 

“Forgive, because you just don’t know when this life will end” 
read by Sis’s two sons in a joint effort eulogy.

It is important to live a life free from the guilt of wronging someone, to have remorse for perceived wrongdoing is an honorable trait. Recognizing your own faults as you look in the mirror. Asking for forgiveness will set us free from the judgment of perceived wrongdoing and open the opportunity to grow in love. It also reveals where your heart is, we all make mistakes, as no one is perfect, and intentions are the keys to the heart. Many people who hate will have intentions to get even, manipulate, accuse, and hurt, as the saying goes “Hurt people hurt people”. Cliché’, maybe? But it has been my experience that people possessed by hate, stuck from past wrongdoing, project feelings of anger when something does not fit their mindset. The opposite is true when asking for forgiveness from a softened heart based on love. Honestly, if someone as beautiful as Sis can humble herself, and ask for forgiveness, let that be a lesson for us all. I’m not suggesting that she is perfect, but from most onlookers and people in her life, she had nothing to be sorry for, a true gem. She was the walking testament of living life honoring the God she served, not by words, but by action.

Something else I took from Sis’s living testimony of living a harmonious life, leading by example. She was married for over 30 years, and her mom was married for over 50. I remember years ago sitting at the kitchen table with Momma Joan, and she was gazing at her husband Roger (as she always did) and she said something that pierced my heart fiercely, “Isn’t he dreamy! You know, out of all the women that Roger could have, he picked me!”. She adored her husband, not because he was perfect, but because he picked her. She always gazed at him with awe. Most men desire to be adored by their wives in this manner. Men will slay dragons and move mountains for this kind of love and affection, Roger reciprocated because men love to be wanted and adored. The same was true for Sis’, she adored and honored her husband, and her husband reciprocated.

In a world full of fake social profiling; me, myself, and I attitude; 20-second dopamine hits; and next failed relationship of promise; my example was found in this family. They have always been a beacon of hope for healthy romantic and neighborly relationships. They did their best to mimic the life of Jesus. Was it easy, no! But, sticking together and fighting battles as a family was key to their existence, to be loving.

As my daughter and I traveled home, I wondered how she took everything in. She never knew Sis’s family as I did, but I don’t think you could sit through the service and not be moved by love. My daughter lives in a time of great deception and delusional reasoning. She lives in a time of fake profiles; me, myself, and I attitude; 20-second dopamine hits; the next failed relationship promises; and “don’t put up with their shit” rhetoric. Where will she turn, for God-centered examples?

I have not been a good example to my children, but I realize it takes two to formulate a God-centered family. It is easy to have kids, but not so easy to create a deep soul connection with a partner without the proper formula. Joan and Sis took a few pages from the good book by loving their husbands with a God-centered approach, starting in the heart. I never heard them complain about their spouse, and when problems did arise, Joan would give the best advice, “Go love on each other”, and in Joan’s world this meant “Tonsil Hockey”. Nothing was so serious that you couldn’t work it out…and that is the best advice anyone could give.

To my extended family, thank you for being an example of God-centered wholesome vessels by carrying love in your hearts. After everything,  our loss is not a tragedy but a blessing and a lesson to so many seekers of love.    

​By the vessel,
William John

Several years ago my (then) wife and I went to Waterton National Park for an Anniversary get-away. We were both Baby Christians (at least that is the consensus if you’re under 10 years strong). We stayed at a quaint hotel in the small Rocky Mountain community, and like most hotels and motels throughout Canada and the USA, there is a bible in the bedside table drawer. However, this bible was a bit different, it was the Book of Mormon.

I perused through the introduction and maybe through the first chapter, and I found it amusing, at the very least. The introduction told the story of how the book came to be, and how Joseph Smith came across some Golden Plates with ancient writing on them in the hills of the modern state of New York. Joseph was given a gift from God (If memory serves, they were glasses) to interpret the mysterious Golden plates. After he wrote the new book, about how Jesus came to the New World (America) to give the gospel message to the native population, he was told to destroy the Golden Plates. I thought it was convenient, as thousands of ancient scrolls outline the story of civilizations from the creation of Adam and Eve and everything in-between. But this is not my main concern, it was a little note before the introduction on the blank page, presumably written by a young teenage girl, which read:

Dear reader of this Book,
If you are unsure if the words contained in this book are real, I would encourage you to pray. I had grown up not knowing if what I was reading was true, and after I prayed the spirit of God filled my heart. I now know that the Book of Mormon is true.
With love, from a daughter of the Prophet  (It is not verbatim, but you should get the idea)

I got a very unsettling feeling after reading the little note, and it frightened me knowing that some young girl was being manipulated to believe such rubbish. I got the feeling of the spirit piercing my heart and soul less than 10 years earlier, we couldn’t both be right, could we? Her experience was from the devil I surmised, mine was genuine. But something else was welling up inside my spirit, understanding. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the young lady was under a hypnotic spell, but maybe I was as well.

Moving on to this week…
I heard some clapping and praise on the weekend, so I went to check out what all the commotion was about, it was a baptism. I have always been overjoyed when people make a public confession of their faith and are willing to announce to on-lookers the joy and peace they have from finding Jesus, the manifestation of God. I was surprised to see it was someone I knew, and I tried to encourage them, although most of the time I feel I give into my warrior rhetoric. I truly believe that when the spirit of God hits our soul the enemy is right at the doorstep challenging our decision, but my understanding and angle of Christian pulpit theology has changed. In 2018 it was an unconventional Christian book that changed my habitual manner of thinking, and was further exemplified 2 years later with Convid. It appears that long-standing Christians were waking up to some disturbing truths about Christian origins and the gatekeepers of the pulpit, and they wrote about it.

This was MIND-BLOWING!
'Do you mean to tell me that there are wolves in sheep's clothing in the church, and the buildings that Christians are coerced to attend?
Do you mean to tell me that there are people who started churches that knew the secret sorcery of the past to lie, deceive, and manipulate our ideas of God while starting churches to steal our money and lose our souls?'

NO WAY!
'I’m right, and everyone who does not follow the God of the Holy Scriptures is wrong, as I stand firm in my convictions about the words in the Bible being the only inspired word of God', I insist in stubborn protest! 

Not everyone is convinced that what they are feeling is anything more than the human conditioning, maybe this is true, but what do I know...

From the “manipulated”(being facetious) Bible,
"... And YOU shall love the Lord YOUR God with all YOUR heart, and with all YOUR soul, and with all YOUR mind, and with all YOUR strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like it, love YOUR neighbor as YOURSELF. There is no other commandment greater than these..." -  Mark 12 30-31

YOUR God is in you!

Mind-blowing concept I know.

Denominationalism, religiosity, and spirituality that convince us to look for God outside of ourselves is false doctrine, PERIOD! Sorry to people who believe in the outward Jesus coming back to save you, stop waiting because he/it lives inside every person. I realize that not everyone manifests the spirit of Christ, but this is for another topic. If you expect that God will send you a perfect spouse, a perfect house, a perfect wife, or a perfect life, you are waiting for the antichrist.  If you are waiting for God to send his son again to make all things right in the world, you are waiting for the antichrist. If you are waiting for God to take you out of here because you hate how people dress, how people act, or how people look then you are following the antichrist. If you look in the mirror and say, “I don’t like what I see” and choose to see all the wrong in people, then work is needed in your heart. This dogmatic teaching is polluting the work required to truly move with God, Allah, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, Yeshua, the Universe, or the ‘Most High’. 

Everything we feel is from God. The young Mormon girl had a true God experience when she prayed. The Muslim man who cried out to God to save his family, and then lived through the evil bombings and bloodshed, experienced God. Yes, even the drug-induced psychotic addict on the dirty streets of East Van who said take these drugs from my hand, who heard the voice of God say, let go of the drugs and drop to your knees.

Everyone heeding the call of the spirit within their mind, body, and soul conversion was mind-blowing real. The conversion from death to life is real. Being saved, from wars, drugs, alcohol, or predators, is real. The feelings are real, as they come from God, and now we turn feelings into action. It didn’t matter where the converts went from there, as long as they understood that they were walking with God. We should now be able to look in the mirror and say, “I love myself because I love God”. What ever you choose YOUR God to be, is for YOU, because it resides inside of YOU!
  
If you read this and still aren't convinced, may I suggest, that you take to prayer, like Matthew 6, to the inner room where God exists. Be Vessels!

By the vessel,
William John

To my readers, thank you for spending time with me. This week is a bit different, as you will read, it is personal, but felt the need to share. There are some of us who go through the spiritual chaotic madness, remember you are not alone. We are in this together, and the learning we take from each experience can make or break us. The enemy (the hate in our hearts) wants to destroy our spirit, and the controllers of the chaos seek to destroy unity. There is only one way to fight the enemy, and this is love. I choose to mimic the love taught by Jesus and write from this lens. If you struggle to love, there is help. Reaching out is as easy as asking, but the requirement to change comes from within.

To the anchor of life,

I groan and I spit, I can’t take any more of this shit.

Ok… there I said it.

Shock value! Sure… But what is the purpose, day after day, following invisible thoughts, which make me insane? I’m fine… no I’m not… the back-and-forth cycle, the chaotic drain of pain. Building pleasures that get stripped away, from the expectations of the desires we play in our brain. Living life, chaotic drain… sometimes… then something happens? A reminder that the words of the Bible are true, following ungodly desires of lust makes us blue. So, we get up, dust our feet, and try to forget about the lusts of the flesh, the pleasure of sex, and the things that we desire to live our best. It is hard I know but it needs to happen, or so we’ve been told.

But wait, confusion…there is more…

The Bible, and those scriptures of old, say that God will give us the desires of our heart if we pray and are bold. Bold for what? a question remaining from the fragmented life that I am obtaining. Life is a trip, such a crazy and chaotic blip… in time.
 
I lost a dear friend this week, she was 52-years-young. Cancer beat her up pretty badly, till she took her last breath this week, it settles in my mind sadly. She battled, she fought, the treatments exhausted her, and she lost. She loved God with all her heart and prayed for healing. She trusted and believed the treatments would work. She listened to doctors who said they could help, exterminate those cells in her body that made her feel worse. She was too young, she raised a family, with children, grandchildren, and a husband so grandly. What is the purpose, for me it’s said sadly, because love hurts, a song we’ve heard many times before, after tragedy. She is so loved; the feeling is mutual from all who will be at her funeral.

I lost another friend only a few weeks before the 52-year-young who succumbed to death's door. This time was much different, she is still alive, but we stay apart because of our pride. When we were friends, we groaned and we spit, we decided we couldn’t take any more shit. Expectations ruled our heartfelt desires because we learned from the scriptures God would never leave or forsake us, and wouldn't retire. God loves us, or so it is written, he gives us desires through the prayers which are lifted, to follow love instead of hate. But we hated, how we acted, from the chaotic fighting, word-slinging, and unfulfilled expectations. Another… I’m sorry… but nothing is changing…so we decided to part…

Who am I fooling…loving hurts… honesty pooling… 

I can keep writing about the things that don’t matter, fluff and stuff, and things that aren’t tough. But the pain of losing someone is real, whether we know them a lifetime or only a moment in time. A heart connection is not easily severed, memories keep us thinking about them forever. I long for the day to see loved ones in heaven, is this a mindless thought, as we are never sure where our loved ones go, it could be pretend you know. As the scriptures in the Bible say, the kingdom of heaven is inside, so… more confusion, what does it mean, the rhetoric of heaven, and the pain of losing the dream, We want to believe we go to a better place, but the scriptures say, heaven on earth, so we stay in the race.

In conclusion, I’ll say this…

To my extended family, my 52-year-young friend, she was so beautiful, loving, and kind, her love for God did not go blind. She will sit in our memories for this lifetime, it's certain, and beyond this, we only have hope that she’s behind the curtain, because we loved, cherished, honored, and missed her. So sad we lost her so young, but there is joy in the hope of being together again, having fun. If we don’t ever see her in a heavenly place in the future, know this, our heart is where heaven on earth dwells, and we marvel and give thanks for Gods heavenly gifts.

To my friends who I lost who are still alive, I’m sorry I was stubborn and stayed in my pride. I believe those old scriptures the ones that say we’ve been told. You know, how to live with the promise of life filled with gold. How to love each other sincerely, without judgment, accusations, intentions of harming, or blasting each other into submission from misguided expectations? Life is short, can’t you see, fighting is stupid, don’t you agree? God is love, and it lives within, forget and forgive the pain of the sin that drives us insane. “But I tried”, you keep mocking. Let it go, it's not worth all the talking. Help is on the way, maybe it’s time that eases the pain. Sincerely I pray, I’m sorry, I don’t live up to the things I say. I'm human, a man who falls short every day.

​If I never see the friends still alive, know this, I continue to marvel at Gods heavenly gifts, the moments of time given to us. We loved and hated and unfortunately debated. I’ll choose to love, even when apart, no matter how heavy the blow to the heart.  

As we go through our weeks, let us remind ourselves, that life is short, so enjoy the heavenly gifts carried by the fruits of love in us. Can I encourage us to manifest the fruits of love? The blessings of being loved and cherished when we depart, leaving heavenly gifts for the next generation should dwell in our hearts.

Life, to be continued…

With Love, by the Vessel,
William John  

"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34

Over two weeks ago the internet was a buzz, with the seemingly innocent for some and the outrageously disrespectful to others, during the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. I didn’t have the pleasure or pain of seeing the ceremonies but was aware of the depiction of the Last Supper by the flamboyant charade of actors and actresses. I don’t get bent out of shape over such things anymore, because in my mind, “What is the point?”. I can argue and fight my point of view and opinions all day long, but who am I reaching, at this point in life my energy is better spent trying to inform the people of the great deception we are being hypnotized by.

All this to say, I did find the ceremony over the top, but it didn’t change my life one iota.

The morning after the ceremony debacle, I went to my favorite small-town coffee shop. I love the staff there, they are always friendly and greet me with a smile, not to mention the coffee is wonderful. One of the ladies asked me if I had seen the Olympic ceremony, to which I replied, “I didn’t, but I saw the Last Supper fiasco on my social media feed this morning”. She was curious about what I thought, and without pondering a proper response, I blurted out, “It was bad taste (or something like that)”. She was confused and could not understand what the controversy was in the first place, she was genuinely bewildered. I was triggered and suggested that she investigate the symbolism of many LGBTQIA+ expressions. I may have come off a bit harsh, and then it dawned on me, “Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do”.

​Society has undergone an incredible amount of programming. The controllers of the propaganda machine continue to play on the heartstrings of us commoners with images and media feeds depicting mistreated and bullied segments of the population. Indeed, some specialty groups have been poorly treated. This can be attributed to the lack of respect and understanding. Schemes of evil intentions are to divide one another, blame one another, manipulate one another, and disrespect one another. Using Christian and Religious symbolism within certain specialty groups is designed to anger the various groups the symbolism represents. Mocking and shaming are the psychological tools used to comply with a system the evildoers are creating. As I wrote in the Indigenous Humility blog, the rainbow means a promise to many religious groups, but now it means pride.

The Last Supper represents the spiritual existence and the Holy Communion with Christ. Christians are symbolically united with Christ and receive His grace and forgiveness. The Last Supper is the ritual preamble to Christ's sacrifice on the cross and is a symbol of God's love for humanity, this provides an opportunity for believers to join God in spiritual eternity. It is not the Last Supper, the rainbow, the cross, or the numerous other ritualistic symbols that Christians and various religious groups are being mocked with, it is exposing the true nature of someone's heart. 

Before Jesus was finally placed on a cross for public display, by stepping out of line with the local authorities, he was mocked and spit on. Some of his closest friends turned their backs on him, leaving him in the hands of evil. Sure, some of Jesus’ followers were willing to fight for their right to autonomy and sovereignty, but when push came to shove, they backed down and denied even being an associate of the person they shared a Holy Communion with days earlier. It is a story of beautiful love for humanity and the ugly truth of hate, anger, and fear found inside the heart of every living being.

There is something else that the participants of the Olympic mocking charade failed to understand, “God will not be mocked”. For those who understand the symbolism and condone the actions, this is a dangerous arena to be in. I do my best to understand where the mocking heart comes from, and I have concluded this, “Hurt people hurt people”.  It is called the pain cycle, and it is easier to blame others for their crappy life than take responsible for living a life of forgiveness, understanding, and love. I mention this because so many people, not just in the LGBTIA+ community, are in the pain cycle. 

“Where was God?!", when someone’s youthful innocence was taken away at the hands of an entrusted family member, or friendly neighbor. “Where was God?!”, when someone’s mother was being beaten at the hands of a man’s drunken rage. “Where was God?!”, is the question asked within all trauma-induced, and mentally anguished members of hate, anger, and fear. The victims of the cycle of pain repeat and the mocking of anyone believing in a God of supposed love is intensified.    

For Christians who claim God as their own, where are you when the pain-cycled individual comes looking for help? “Just trust in Jesus”, the regurgitated rhetoric spews from our lips. Many Christians wonder why the individual isn’t getting the message, it is because we fail to realize that their spirit, the God inside, has been damaged by the God outside. The outward God has many people waiting for the superhero to save humanity, focusing on outward salvation instead of being the vessels for the change required to heal broken hearts.
 
I understand that the agitation is real and that we are being manipulated into fight, flight, or freeze responses. Everyone I know is feeling the effects of the ongoing smearing campaigns of misinformation, and it needs to be met with a real solution, to love. What do the Last Supper, rainbows, and love thy neighbor mean to an individual? I think we should start asking the questions, we might be surprised by the answers. I used to beat people with the bible and felt that it was my duty to correct people to the truth, as making sure that people do not end up in hell is the great commission of every Christian (or so we have been taught). Here is the uncomfortable truth; some people wake up in hell every day.

I am learning to be more patient and kind and not give in to hate, anger, lies, deception, manipulation, etc. I know it is hard, but to be vessels we need to carry the fruits of the spirit. It starts with the person in the mirror being a vessel for the change required to be saved from evil schemes. It isn’t all doom and gloom, and to show the way, the life, and the truth we need to be examples of love.

​Love thy neighbor, that is everyone, as you would want to be loved. It doesn’t get simpler than that.
Love Always, 
William John.

Life is beautiful. Life is full of emotions, such as heartache and sorrow, or, heartwarming and joyful. We live in a juxtaposition of good and evil, love and hate, happiness and anger. We choose this day which one we desire to follow, and it resonates in the heart. The symbolism of juxtaposition in life can be found in all cultures and civilizations throughout every lifespan, since the beginning of time. The yin yang, the karma, the consequences, the religious rhetoric, and never forget the Christian symbolism of Jesus and Satan.

Throughout my life, I have prayed for the desires of my heart. I love life, I relish in the beauty of creation and all that life has to offer. I have loved and been loved. I have hated and been hated. The truth is we all have. I write this with my desire to help you and I find the true meaning of life, to LOVE…

I am reminded of what I learned throughout my life, and it starts in the heart. Relationships have been especially hard for most people, and not just romantic relationships. There is an ongoing campaign, or so it seems, to divide people and have us focusing and criticizing our differences. The campaign has targeted the heart, making us focus on specks in people's eyes, instead of removing the planks in our own eyes. Our selfish nature, our ego, and our wanting to be better than others are easy targets for people with too much pride, too much arrogance, and too much trauma. Trauma? The "get out of jail" free card, gives those in possession the propensity for bad behavior. Taking instead of giving, hating instead of loving, men against women, and specialty groups challenging the status quo. For many, it is too much to handle, and checking out instead of stepping up is become the norm. We surrender.

Within the romantic partnership category, too many couples are focusing on what they can change in their significant other, rather than accepting and caring for someone the way that they are. Couples are being encouraged to look elsewhere when the going gets tough. Complaining instead of campaigning about our significant other. No wonder that relationships are failing at an alarming rate. Again, the pressure to maintain healthy living within the crisis of life has taken its toll on our souls. Relationships are difficult because we choose selfish ambition over selfless ambition. We are choosing to surrender.

Lately, my healthy boundaries have been compromised with the unreasonable expectations that come from someone’s selfishness. I have failed and the goalposts of expectations have broadened. I have heard the concerns, but I can’t change anyone’s past or my own. Everyone makes mistakes, but it is how we deal with missing the mark that will have us either learn or repeat the pattern. It feels like a losing battle, and the surrender flags have been raised.

What are the answers then?

In the Bible, where I take much of my teaching, we are taught how to love one another, but also states that in the end days, people "will be lovers of self rather than lovers of God". What does it mean to love God then? So many people who get married turn to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 for their vows to one another, even Atheists have heard these rules for loving;

“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails, But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”  

Also, the Bible states that we are the encourage and edify one another. We are also not to be partakers in evil, and to watch for the wolves in sheep’s clothing. We are to help people where we can, not to cast pearls before swine. In other words, be kind, grateful, loving, and if you can afford to give to someone in need, give and don’t be selfish. Give without ceasing, and with a grateful heart expecting nothing in return. If you are feeling used, or that someone is being ungrateful, then learn to be wise with your time and resources and dust your feet. Encouraging words and affirmation will help better than a handout. Edifying people with their gifts and abilities helps to build communities and strengthen relationships.  

The same is true in our romantic relationships. Always take a moment to breathe, meditate, or pray when complications arise. Be calm and treat others how you want to be treated in the same situation. So many couples are struggling, they do the opposite of treating others with patience and kindness, choosing instead to demand that their partner treat them using the techniques learned from their favorite online podcast gurus. 

In case you missed it; many couples rely on their partner to make them happy, instead of learning to love first with no expectations. True love never demands anything. Unfortunately, most people look toward others for their happiness and insist that if their partner loved them, they would do things the way they wanted. The slippery slope of taking instead of giving, and losing focus leads to divorce, separation, and next.

I failed many times at being loving. I try but it seems harder in 2024, as coveting is at record levels. Keeping up with the Jones, body reconstruction, a pill to make you feel better, and can all be displayed on your favorite social media feed. It is much easier to love when we are alone, the expectations of a partner often pollute love. It is our selfish nature. Do we surrender, or do we choose instead what path paved in love? Choose what you want to follow. In my opinion, there is no source greater than Jesus, the guru of love.

As we go through our days and weeks, let us be mindful of how to love.

​By the vessel,
William John​

What a week! There is so much to blog about this week, but I find myself struggling with the importance of anything. Blah, blah, blah settles my mind. The show must go on, and the commitment to my readers, myself, and the little voices in my head persist. 

This week with the plethora of topics to choose from personal, local, and international issues that have ensued, I am left trying to make all three relevant to you. In my personal life, I am once again dealing with my navigation of healthy boundaries. I also received my editorial review of the new book, which is mixed on how to proceed. With the ongoing fires close to our town’s borders, many people have been forced out of their small communities to look for refuge due to fires. Overseas we witnessed an opening ceremony that buzzed the internet with opinions, anger, rage, excitement, joy, and everything in between depending on what side of the lens a person chose to witness the charade. I was also interviewed on a podcast with Briggs on Books, with technical difficulties, Geesh!
 
Upon further review, and the few days since I wrote the previous paragraphs, I have decided to stretch the material this week into three blogs over three weeks. This week I will focus on the local issue of displaced residents due to fires.
 
Regular readers of my blogs might know I examine many predicaments with the moto, Cui Bono (who benefits). Many quotes over the centuries deal with confusing people with so much information and propaganda that it becomes difficult to find the truth. The truth is this, many people benefit from the fires that displace residences to larger centers, like the village where I reside. Tragedy supports the agenda. I am angered to learn that many fires could be extinguished within minutes of being discovered. I have friends who worked for BC Wildfire Services, who all agree that fires being fought today are much different than in the 1990’s. 

There have been a few arguments explaining the changes and challenges to the tactical forces from the 1990s until now. Fires help replenish new growth, and they assist the natural cycle, which I agree with. The opposite reasoning for the change is Climate Change in which I am in disagreement. I have heard both arguments from leading experts from the institutions who work for the world governing authorities. Which is it, let-em burn for new growth or Climate Change? It can’t be both, or could it? I asked the question, and the response was this; Governments are fighting Climate Change in the name of Geo-engineering, let-em-burn initiatives, and sustainable development resourcefulness in the name of reducing climate change. 

Cui Bono? 
Why do I care?

This year the fire season affects our small community, as the displacement of people happened only 2 weeks before our annual Jazz Festival. The festival has been going since 1992 and has brought many amazing artists and musicians from all over the world. Unfortunately, the festival has mixed reviews from the local community, and this year it has been intensified. Many locals love the quaint and secluded life without interruption in this isolated mecca of British Columbia. For the festival organizers, it is a lot of work, time, and money to make the weekend event the success it has become.  For one weekend out of the year, it puts our community on the map. Like it or not it is happening again, but with an increase in population of evacuees, which puts a heavy burden on an already strained community.

I am proud of the organizers who put this event together. I am equally proud of the community businesses that work hard to ensure they are properly staffed and have enough goods and services to fulfill the weekend's demands. I also see that this year is especially challenging, and the decisions have not been made lightly. The show must go on, and it is not for reasons of money lost or gained, it is the right thing to do.

I am not an authority on festivals, forest fires, or the local community politics, however, I feel that we all need a change of heart, and I write about this extensively. There is something that people might not be giving thought to, letting the bullies win. If there is a global agenda to displace rural communities to live in the 15-minute cities found within the Sustainable Development Agenda 2030 initiatives, then by stopping the festival, the agenda cronies win. Sadly, the fires ripped through the small communities, but the unity that happens is the result we should strive for. The displaced people have free tickets to the event, and our community has overwhelmed the disaster relief center with giving.

At this time of incredible loss of property and livestock, can we be supportive and put differences aside? Can we extend a hug and shoulder to cry on, with words of compassion, like, "Everything is going to be OK"? Can we stop thinking of ourselves for a moment, and think instead; "How can I help?". 

I pray there is a speedy return to the displaced communities. I pray there is joy, happiness, love, and hugs found at the Jazz Festival weekend. I pray those who are fighting fires are kept safe. I pray people behind the curtain of decision-making put themselves in the shoes of the less fortunate and do the right thing. Remember the golden rule, "Treat others how you want to be treated". Life is full of division, confusion, pain, and suffering, but there is a golden lining when people stop for a moment to think of others. Compassion is the key to a healthy and prosperous life, which everyone deserves.

Love one another, and enjoy the show. Be the shoulder to cry on while listening to your favorite artists, or the listening ear at the counter you serve at. As tragic as the fires are, we are all in this together. 
 
With love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

By the Vessel, 
William John​

The schemes of evil masquerade as sweet-tasting pleasures, propagating the spirit of the seven deadly sins, which trigger the small dopamine hits of bliss. The highs and lows that come from the euphoric feeling of temporary pleasure are exhausting to the soul, coming with a price and undesired consequences, sometimes leading to death. Everything has an expiration, including our physical body, so choose this day whom you will follow... Life or Death. 

Have you heard the definition of insanity? It is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. How about the less-known definition of depression? Depression is the result of unfulfilled expectations. No wonder we have a generation of insanity and depression. Women, men, and everything in between, have been bombarded with insane expectations. It starts young in the minds and hearts of our children with, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Where, what, how, and when do you want to achieve your goals? Go to school, get edumacated, make as much money as possible before you are 50, and have a beautiful house with a beautiful spouse. Propagate the pattern until the exasperation and anxiety set in, and trauma is accepted. 

There is a huge problem with the institutionalized formula, it is a connection with one another and partnership commitment. Many of us are looking for the answers, and desire to come out of the matrix, but we are unsure how to do the work. So we scour the internet to find meaning and purpose and help to overcome our dopamine-induced anxiety and depression. The Internet gurus have found victory over their narcissistic partners, dopamine pleasures, and anxiety triggers, giving us hope that we can also be included in the victory circle of living life and the release of past trauma. Our attempts at creating a healthy mindset are met with futile results, and we realize that we are on the crazy train to the abyss. 
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Relationship Gurus are littering the social platforms and mainstream media, as it is a hot topic. For most of us, the desire to be in a committed relationship is an obvious proposition. We are willing to do the work, but what is it we are working for exactly? Do we understand that nobody is perfect and that the manipulation that comes from higher expectations is driving us apart? The life we have been manipulated to believe in probably does not exist. Are we trying to keep up with others in their make-believe social media status, insane monthly payments with two weeks of vacation, or soul-robbing manicures and pedicures for attracting the next three-month rendezvous year after year? We want to do the work, but it doesn't seem profitable or achievable. 

Lately, I have been suffering from the insanity and depression that come from modern-day relationship expectations. Men have been taught to be passive and "take it like a man", as their partners throw insults and depreciate any good intentions. Most men in these situations want to defend themselves, which is seen as aggression. So men turn inward and fail to communicate because any discussion will ultimately be an outright admittance of wrongdoing and not understanding our partner's feelings. "I'm sorry", becomes a confusing statement on both sides of the feelies debate, and the circle of chaos continues. Depression sets in, and failure to communicate persists.  

I am not a passive person. I am passionate and willing to fight back when I feel threatened or losing the cooperation battle. I have been taught to stick up for myself and don't give in to bullies. If I'm honest, I don't appreciate correction and I don't like to be lorded over or controlled, which is problematic when someone is demanding to have me do something their way. I don't like to be manipulated, coerced, or criticized, and I tend to overreact when the aforementioned are present. Saying this, I am extremely compassionate, loyal, patient, kind, and fair. It takes a lot to make me angry, but when pushed too far, I explode! When the explosion happens, it is difficult to take words and actions back. We only have one option, ask for forgiveness. The problem for most people, is they only see how their partners react, and rarely take responsibility for triggering the explosive response in someone. Agitation to win the fight,  instead of recognition of going too far.

Many times in these blogs I end up making it personal for a reason, we are all different, but it is nice to know that someone is going through similar circumstances, feelings, or life challenges. Men and women are polar opposites in so many ways, and the schemes of evil use our polarization as division, instead of addition. I hope that my words resonate with the challenges that many couples are going through. I know that nobody is perfect, and I never want to be held to a higher position of authority, as this would be hypocritical. So I make it personal, raw, and as honest as I can in an attempt to help break the chains that have us bound and submitted to the schemes of evil.

As I get older, I am faced with the challenges of where I go from here, what is life's purpose, and finding joy and happiness in less than-lovely circumstances. Failure has been my stumbling block, and picking up pieces that are strewn about seems pointless. Yes, the pieces of the past have made us who we are,  and there is no escaping the effect it has had on our mind, body, and soul. Our healing comes from choosing to pick ourselves up and don't look back. Leave any rotten and broken pieces behind, by choosing instead to follow the truth, the way, and the life.  

We will always be faced with temptations in life, but understanding how to navigate temptation is key to living a happy joyful life. The guilt of partaking in temporary pleasures needs to be shed to truly move through life without trauma triggers. Holding on to trauma will ultimately be the possession that drives people insane. I hate the cliches', but it is true, "Give it to God"! Letting go of trauma possession, and leaving it behind is the true path to healing. I bring this up because so many people throw trauma around like arrows to the heart. "I'm this or that" or "you're this or that" mud-slinging rhetoric in an attempt to give license to crappy behavior. We need to stop this behavior if we want to have success in life ever-lasting.

The schemes of evil masquerade as sweet-tasting pleasure, don't be fooled. The desires of your heart will be manifested in your intentions. If your heart's desire is LIFE, you'll love. If your heart's desire is death, you'll hate. A pleasurable life starts with honorable intentions, understanding, and the fruits of the spirit, such as love, kindness, patience, and peace. Choosing life is an obvious choice, and it is found in the heart.

Until next week, 

​William John​

"We're only as sick as our secrets," this was quoted by Ace Frehley who was a member of the band KISS in an interview several years ago. This quote resonated with me this week as I have been working with a secret. The secret came from a time when promiscuity was normal and "free love" promoted unconfined meaningless intercourse. There were consequences in the free love movement, as sex certainly was not free. The truth is, that everyone has to deal with feelings of guilt from wrongful actions at some point in their life. The hippies of the sixties had a few choices for their lustful actions, one of which was to bury the guilt with secrecy.

The secret was originally brought to my attention by a family member who didn't feel right holding on to the private affair. It is a difficult conversation to have when the people whom we love have been caught in a scandalous relationship. There is a huge problem with the scandal as everyone involved has passed away, and we have been left with the consequences and questions. The consequences almost got buried, but due to the technology of DNA, the secret was exposed. Our new family member knows the truth and is now curious about his roots, there is no healing when hiding secrets, and I am reminded of the saying, "The truth will set you free".

As many of my readers know, I can't help but make biblical references from time to time. There is a passage of scripture that I now understand means until a guilty person repents and asks for forgiveness the sins (secrets) will be handed down for generations, found in the book of Exodus 34:7. This was written at a time before DNA technology and was given to Moses, a man who did not know his biological parents. In the case of the hippies of the sixties, who had children out of less-than-beautiful circumstances, secrecy appeared to be the only option. The secret and any evidence of wrongdoing would be buried with it for three to four generations. I'm writing this with a renewed understanding and I see now that it can take a minimum of three generations to bury a secret, father/mother, son/daughter, and grandchildren.

Many years ago I hired a young man who was adopted. His "closed adoption" made it difficult to find his biological parents. He longed to find the truth of his adoption and his biological parents. In his words to me, "I want to know why I think the way I do." He never felt part of his adopted parents' life because he knew he was different. He was an intellectual, polite, determined young man, full of anger and self-destruction. He was sent to counseling for years to determine why he would not comply and be like the other kids, but when he expressed his feelings of loneliness for not knowing his biological roots it was always met with resistance. The gatekeepers to the pieces of paper of closed adoption rhetoric failed to see that they could help this young man grow spiritually by allowing the truth to set him free. It was simple, made difficult by the govern (control)-ment (mind). I felt sorry for the young man and encouraged him to find an agent to help him find his biological parents and the secrecy that surrounded his adoption. 

The plethora of stories bred from the intimate rendezvous' in a back alley or broom closet somewhere is staggering. It has made shows like Maury Povich or The Genetic Detective popular beyond all comprehension. Because of our sick fascination with pointing fingers at wrongdoers and mocking their actions, society has made exposing secrets profitable, and not honorable. Nobody wants to be caught in the crossfire between the shameful action and the consequences, it should not be put on public display. We are no better than the people being mocked publicly.  

Protection seems to be the biggest reason for secrecy, I know this all too well, as my childhood innocence had been stolen. Whenever a perpetrator of childhood innocence is grooming their victim, the secrecy card is pulled and fear is introduced. "Shhhhh...this is our little secret", and "You don't want me to hurt you and/or the people you love". I only bring this forward for understanding, not "Woe is me". I was determined to hide the shameful action to protect my family and myself. I was about 12 years old when I exposed the secret to my mom. Exposing lies is usually the first step in any healing process and/or spiritual journey. I felt free and liberated from the guilt which was imposed on me. The truth had set me free.

In the case of my new family member, who are we protecting? The actions of two consenting adults who fell victim to the lust of the flesh or the consequences of the action? Are we protecting feelings, and whose feelings? Are we trying to safeguard made-up accusations in our heads? Everyone we are trying to protect has been laid to rest, it's okay to embrace the consequences of actions within the beautiful soul that was created. "Blood is thicker than water", or "Genes are stronger than adoption". The truth will set everyone free.

This whole exercise of secret-keeping has been exhausting. I have done stupid things over my 50+ years of living, some things have been shameful, and I am not proud of my actions. I also realize that I am not going to stay in my stupidity, I've learned from my actions, and I have asked for forgiveness from the people whom I feel that I have wronged. If I am ever asked if I did something stupid, with a clear conscience I can say, "Yes I did" followed by, "I apologized, and have released any feelings of guilt that have kept me living with the repercussions of wrongful actions".

The newest known member of our family is...well... Family! Hiding the fact that he exists is not going to change the consequences. I have chosen to embrace the consequences, not because I am self-righteous, but because it is the right thing to do, and it exudes loving action. I am not writing this in an attempt to throw certain family members under the bus, but to use our circumstances as a learning example for the many thousands/millions of families dealing with the same state of affairs. 

As I think of Ace Frehley's quote, it is true, that we are only as sick as our secrets. How many people throughout the years have been plagued with PTSD as a result of wrongful actions or protecting criminals for unmentionable activity? How many people throughout the years have sought help from psychologists, psychiatrists, or counselors, only to be told that everything shared is confidential and secret? It is a known fact that keeping someone fearful keeps a body in the adrenaline response of fight, flight, or freeze. A mind, body, and soul kept in this response for too long causes heart problems and early death. I have since learned that Ace Frehley was quoting from the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program.  

While I ponder my family's response to this latest blog, "Welcome to the family Len!" 

In love, 
William John

"And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head." Matthew 8:19-20 KJV
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It is difficult doing life on your own, with no place to lay one's head. I am one of the fortunate ones, I have a place to call home, but it is getting tougher as the months and years go by. Rents are soaring, and it appears the heart of giving is also fading. I am surprised how many people I come into contact with are concerned about the housing crisis, but have 3 houses and vacation homes that sit empty. Let's face it, and be honest, we have a heart crisis. People are naturally greedy and want to exude an extravagant lifestyle to massage their egos. I'm not judging, only observing, as I am guilty by association.

So many of my friends and family are working to pay bills, not working for the benefit of others. So many of us want to help bring change to our circumstances, not to help extinguish the misfortunes of others. We have way too much, and it shows in the many hoards of garbage piled in many yards and homes in every town and city in every nation on earth. Buying and selling is a way of life, and it is a life I was all too familiar with. Pre-determined and perceived obsolescence are the mastermind disguises for multi-level marketing profits. We have been conditioned to keep consuming from the world of big corporations, instead of giving from the abundance of the cycle of life and living. I am surrounded by the gluttony, as I look across the street and see another homeless victim from the drug-induced rhetoric that possessed their soul. It is sad.

As a result, I'm lonely and I believe Jesus was as well. Sure Jesus had an entourage of followers, however when the critical point of following Jesus was met with losing everything the people scattered. As Jesus looked up, only twelve were left, and not all twelve had his best interest at heart. Jesus knew that the hearts of some of these men who sat around him were deceitfully wicked, namely Judas. Money drove the heart of Judas, and he was willing to sacrifice a man he claimed he loved for all intents and purposes, pocket change. 

What an absolutely bizarre story, but it is true. Throughout time in every nation, tongue, creed, and culture, there have been people who have the heart of Judas. These people are willing to kill the souls of humankind, both metaphorically and spiritually, for pocket change. We would much rather watch from a distance than offer a homeless person a place to shower, eat, and lay their head for a night. It is easier to give a percentage of the pocket change to a governmental faceless socialized institution. "I give", we argue, as we pass the rows of homeless placards pleading for help.

Jesus was neither the homeless placard carrier nor the ten percent giver, he was a messenger and vessel for truth. He carried with him the keys to the kingdom. Anyone who chose to follow Jesus with a pure heart was willing to sacrifice their own lives for the lives of others. The apostles laid down their lives to show a better way by following the teacher named Jesus, through spreading the truth, which paved the way for life everlasting. As a result, most of the early apostles and followers of Jesus were homeless.

So... I digress...

I originally started writing to get a message out that I chose to believe was from God. I knew that what I was writing was controversial, as it goes completely contrary to the narrative spewed from the MSM and pulpit denominationalism. It is ultimately a story of LOVE and how to come out of a system designed to enslave us, but it is a difficult story to swallow. The idea of losing everything because we won't comply with the system is... well... difficult, to say it simply. I realize now that the message is not for the faint of heart, it takes courage. I don't have enough courage to go on this journey alone, I want an entourage of like-minded people to help.

I keep getting side-tracked because I desire to have a wife and a life, without the interference of outside socialized influence. I want to do life the way that I understand happiness, joy, and peace to appear, sprinkled in with a plethora of things, such as a nice car, a beautiful wife, success, and a house on the lake. My heart is divided, the desire for things is powerful, and my desire to follow the call is equally strong. I find myself wondering and wandering. "What is my purpose?", as I move through life's journey. I've worked hard and had it stripped away, like many people who didn't comply with the mandates imposed on our sovereignty and autonomy. So many of us are starting over.

I'm not going to lie... it sucks. I can pretend all I want, but I am just a man feeding a system that I refuse to agree with. "What don't you agree with", some question as they take a sip of their ten-dollar coffee as they read this on their laptops, iPads, or Smartphones. Yes, I'm grateful, as I stated before, I'm not homeless. 

I live in two different worlds. One that rewards our good work through flattery and the plethora of luxury that our hearts would ever desire. The second is the obvious suffering that many others have been subjected to. The message of Jesus was simple, yet difficult. The road is narrow, and it shows in the heart. How will we make money, pay the bills, drive a nice car, or buy a nice home? Every time I take a moment to listen and see, it's obvious, that money does not buy happiness. But the voices in my head say, "Look all this can be yours if you just follow the system, it works".

What is the conclusion then?

For each person, it will be different. Prayer and meditation are the keys to understanding the voices inside our heads. Confirmation from others that resonates with our souls helps our path of understanding. We are all hands and feet to a larger assignment, helping one another on the narrow path.

Jesus may have been homeless, but he wasn't useless. The ideas placed forth by a man who walked the earth two thousand years ago were to inspire us, not dishearten us. Changing our heart's desires, and putting people before possessions should be the ultimate goal.

By a vessel, 
William John