  I'm a fricking Narcissist! A few years ago I was going through a tough break-up and I had never paid attention to the word narcissist. During this break-up, my mind was swimming in confusion because it appeared that I didn't know what I was saying, remembering, or what my intentions were. I had always tried my best to be fair and honest, but everything I did appeared to be... well... wrong. It was also during this break-up that I learned that "I" was a classic narcissist. The word got thrown at me so often during the days and weeks that I naturally accepted the title. The person who was supposed to be my biggest supporter in the day-to-day activities of life saw me as a stain on the family because of my narcissism. I was confused by where this narcissism came from, so in an attempt to be edumacated, I started watching videos and reading articles on the subject. I realized something through all my hours wasted in the endless void of information, narcissists NEVER admit wrong-doing and they ALWAYS DEFLECT. So that is it! You now know as much as I do regarding narcissism. I mentioned in blogs past that I used to be a sales manager, and I spent many hours teaching the art of selling. Part of the art of selling is to never admit wrongdoing as this is not only a sign of weakness but also an unspoken admission of guilty intentions. This sales tactic has now been implemented through propaganda tactics on your favorite news and social media feeds, as no one seems to want to admit they are wrong. The art of deflection is acceptance rejection. Every culture, creed, nation, and religion has a version of the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have done to you". In narcissistic culture the golden rule is this, "Deflect your feelings unto others as you see necessary", best practiced in a romantic relationship. The idea that our actions are making somebody feel anything is problematic, especially for the empathetic or loving person. This is not in the context of verbal and/or physical abuse which I am very aware happens. It is in the context of throwing your feelings of displeasure about something onto someone else and never admitting any wrongdoing upon oneself. This week has been very mind-consuming. It has me reflecting on love and hate. In my blog Provoked to Anger, I tackle the question of being pushed to the point of no return, and how this can be translated to hate. I also keep hearing the song by INXS, Devil Inside, roll around in my head. We all have a button (could be a word) that triggers us, but it is how we process these words in which we need to take our actions and thoughts captive. Are we going to listen to the devil inside (demonic presence) or something that encapsulates love and unity? Many characters throughout history have tried to get our minds set right on the mindful actions of love, as there is no confusion in love. I choose to love, and I am mindful of my actions toward others. I am refusing to fall under the narcissistic snares of the devil's voice. I have been learning a lot about hate as it masquerades as love, the greatest trick of all time. Love your neighbor as yourself, meaning love everyone in the world equally. In An Abomination That Caused Desolation, I place some groups in the "evil" category, but not once do I say I hate these groups and/or kinds of people. In fact, the truth is I understand (somewhat) why they think the way they do. I choose to educate in a loving matter, not berate with hate. It has always been my intention to learn to love my undesirables, my enemies. I learned that my intentions to love have been scrutinized by on-lookers this week. Some people noticed that I was putting up several heart emojis instead of a thumbs-up. I was being judged on my intentions. For the record, I will continue to spread love, as this is my intention. I am not looking for some kind of warm fuzzies back, some weird dopamine hit of affirmation, or some message from a secret crush. I just want to see more loving action in the world, and if it starts with an invitation for lunch or a silly heart emoji, I'm all in. I don't care if you are a woman or man, obese or skinny, ugly or pretty, over 80 or under 18, my intention is the same. I will remain steadfast in the truth that I learned from the Almighty, the Creator of all things. Let us be vessels for the change required to move the world, and let us not judge the intentions of others, before recognizing our own intentions. Love Always, William John
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  When I was about 5 years old I got my first lesson on how to fight.
I was walking home after school, which was about 7-9 blocks, by myself (this was 1976 and very normal, so don't call social services on my parents), when I was ambushed by two older boys. They threw snow in my face and terrified the living daylights out of me. I was able to escape, by leaving my jacket and Evil Kinevil lunch box behind, never looking back as the adrenaline had me sprinting home. Once home I broke down in tears, while mom comforted me with a hug and preparing a snack and drink. When dad got home, mom had me replay the story. I started crying again. Dad said "Are you hurt?" "na, na, na, noooo", I struggle through my sniffles, and hurt feelings. "Why are you crying then?", with his smirking grin. "I, I, I, I...those b, b, b, boys pushed me" "Why didn't you push them back?" "b, b ,b, b, because....they were bigger than me....". As I gather the strength to find my words as I snort one last tear through my nose. I was not quite understanding where dad is going with this? Dad says something that I will never forget to this day, "Never go looking for a fight, but defend yourself, and push those boys back". The next day after school those two boys were waiting for me again, as it seems that they got quite the thrill terrifying and harassing me. This time I did what my dad said, I pushed them back. One boy fell down on his butt, and the other decided he was not going to stick around to witness what would happened next, running from the scene as terrified as I was only 24 hours prior. I yelled at the boy on the ground, "NOW LEAVE ME ALONE! (or something like that). I felt like such a hero, and I exuded confidence as I strutted home. When Dad got home, I was so proud to tell him what happened. He gave me a big hug, and said, "See, don't let people push you around". I earned respect and gained confidence that day. Those boys never messed with me again. When the pandemic of 2020 happened I never once waivered on my stance to the mask and/or the upcoming vaccines. I saw it for what it was, and I pledged that I would stand in front of the bullies, unfortunately the bullies were the people closest to me. It got so bad that our home became divided, and I eventually had to leave the toxic environment that was created by all the confusion from the constant lies, deception and misinformation. I found a tribe of like minded individuals, and on-lookers from other tribes began the steady campaign of mockery, slander, accusations, insults, anger, and hate. I was constantly checking in with my new tribe, as I was not sure how to fight back. The group consensus was just a matter of time before some of these people would see that their behavior was offending and criminal. I started to pull back from the community, as all the harassment and accusations was too much. Eventually I escaped to better pastures where no one knew my name, and I was able to create a new life. As I got settled into the new community, there was one thing I couldn't escape, myself. I brought the feelings of resentment with me, and the battle to defend myself seemed to control my new life. I talked back to the bullies, and this time the bullies made sure I was reprimanded. They made sure that I learned to respect the system built on lies and thus kept me silent and compliant. This was the golden opportunity, as I took something distressing and struck back with a book about love and unity. There is one problem with the book, I wrote it. If you want to discredit the person who typed the manuscript, you won't need to look very far. However, you cannot discredit the message. "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes". Ephesians 6:11 I am still working on putting on the full armor of God. The devil has whispered into the ears of the people I love the most, trying to sway me from the work that is still required. I can't play in that mine field any longer, and I need to continue to ask for guidance. The strong-hold that the devil has on some of the most precious people in my life is astonishing and concerning. The world needs change. Everyone needs to be vessels for this change to occur. Everyone needs to stop fighting one another, and look at themselves before scrutinizing others. Don't hang on words, to criticize. Do take the message, to edify. Treat others how you want to be treated, not expecting anything in return. Pay attention to the schemes of the devil, don't let him get a stronghold. I did not start the fight, but it looks like I am getting some of my tribe back, in order to fight back. We will unite and eventually push the schemers to the ground in submission. Love Always, William John PS - My dad and I got in the car after dinner and retrieved my jacket and Evil Kinevil lunch box, they were still in the place that I was ambushed.   Recently I was friended on Facebook by someone from my path, my younger cousin. We began to dialogue on Messenger, as we both were intrigued by how we had grown since the last contact we had together. We reminisced (somewhat), but there was this feeling I was having, that she was reaching out for some answers to suppressed questions. She was not interested in dialogue about the God that I write about, as this was a tainted topic from the learning that she adopted from her father. You see, our fathers grew up in a strict Mennonite family, and both of our fathers pledged, knowingly or unknowingly, that they would allow their children to find their own spiritual path. While this may seem honorable to some people, it left both of us feeling confused in our youth about the existence of a god or a divine creator. As we got into discussions about our family dynamics, and some of our own relationship struggles, we got real. We both found (or at least I did) that our common ground was how we were raised by our fathers, and their shortcomings in regards to relationships. Our fathers were not good examples of how to treat and/or have relationships with women. After dialoguing back and forth throughout the day, something dawned on me, we desire guidance from our earthly Father. What an incredible revelation! As I am the father of three beautiful daughters, they are watching my every move. I have failed miserably at being the example of a man that they should not only look up to but also guide them to what they should look for in a potential future partner. In regards to my dialogue with my cousin, she triggered this revelation with this question, "You mean to tell me that you only had committed loving sex?" This was her response after I communicated to her that the youth of today have "just sex". She looked up to her older, handsome, and charming (placed for effect....lol) male cousins, and figured that we were playboys having "just sex". We failed as good examples of young men who would treat women with respect, and not look at women as sources of dopamine fixes. I write often about the incredible amount of programming that both men and women are being exposed to. If you are reading this on your handheld device, stop and meditate on the next thing I am about to say... WE ARE ALL BEING MANIPULATED! Do I have your attention? Please understand, that there is not one person that I know who has immunity to the manipulation that has been poured out on humanity. Since the 1950's as more and more televisions had been escorted into homes, the channeling of programming began. The controllers were able to manipulate the masses through any narrative they desired, by herd mentality. If resistance to the programming was apparent, the controllers would turn back on the dial until the agitation settled. Once the fringe minority could convince the majority that they overreacted to the propagated narrative, the controllers could once again introduce the desired programming. So to keep on track, what happened to the fathers that are worthy of being emulated? The 20th century was amazing in regards to technological advancements. But due to these advancements, we have been losing our souls. The spirit of the dragon (greed and gluttony) has pulled fathers away from their families. As a result of all the luxuries that the world has to offer, chasing the dragon has become big business. It only took 2 generations of fathers chasing the dragon to obliterate any sign of a nuclear family. In Western culture, it has become mainstream to have no fathers present, both physically and mentally. Women were programmed that life outside of the home was required to live in this new world being carved into the mental landscape with bigger homes, better cars and trucks, not to mention fresh flowers on the table every other day. To have these things of luxury women needed to get out of the home and get a job. Women, being nurturers by nature, were now seeing the stress and struggles of trying to juggle time for their husbands and children after the long days in their career choice. Too often, the husbands were pushed aside and had to wait for their wives to recharge. Men began to retreat and looking for love and affection outside of the home became commonplace in the 60's and 70's. Husbands learned that in order to fulfill their fleshly desire they could cloud it with pornography, or worse yet adultery. Women felt unworthy of the images that the men were being exposed to, and men were experiencing the negative feedback from their wives. The programming is worse now than it has ever been. We are looking for perfection and all the red lights, I do not mean the red light district, I might add. Our desires for the perfect life must be recognized for what it is, a sham, it doesn't exist. We will all fail and come short of perfection every time. Men will say things that get misconstrued, and women will react in an undesirable way. We are all being programmed to look for flaws. Don't settle, there is someone right for you, just have patience. I have fallen victim to this way of thinking, and realize that I must stop. There is a saying, "You can't love others without first loving yourself" .What does this mean exactly, loving yourself? This is what it does not mean, putting up filtered selfies of yourself to prove that you are loving, good-looking, attractive (a little harsh, but the point is coming). We are seeking the approval of others all the time, I know this very well, because I have often sought the approval of others before checking myself to understand my motivation. We all want to feel love, not do love. The controllers of the images that you see on your handheld device have created a world that is designed to separate us, not connect us. But, I have 2500 followers and 5000 likes you argue. We fail to connect with the people in our own circle of influence. Waiting for the notification bell for a "like" or "heart" is not making contact. At the start of this blog, I had a revelation. I am not trying to create sympathy for fathers, but rather to empower us to be something that our daughters and sons look up to. We need to see the manipulation for what it is, and we need to set an example. I am working hard to remove myself from all the craziness that this world has to offer. I want to spread good energy. I want to spread love without expectation. I want to enjoy my life with a renewed understanding of others. I want to hold to the title of a vessel. William John.   This past summer I attended the Abbotsford Air Show, it was absolutely astonishing! I was excited to experience the "sonic boom" from a supersonic jet. My excitement promptly turned to disappointment when I learned that aircraft are not allowed to break the sound barrier in and/or around cities and towns, so spectators never get to experience this phenomenon. I have heard the sonic boom of a supersonic jet only 2 times in my life. These booms stop everyone in their tracks, not to mention the adrenaline rush from trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Still, the rush of the noise from an aircraft travelling close to the speed of sound is exciting. So why even bring it up? In my past life, pre-pandemic, I owned a car audio shop and was very familiar with making music to our ears, but also making things LOUD! I got involved in sound competitions, called DB drags, which allowed me to help others create gnarly sound systems, giving them a dopamine hit of adrenaline. Once I learned my way around the car audio industry I was considered (by some) the "master" in the field. It is not easy to make things loud, but once certain thresholds are achieved it gets easier. The formula is the same, in regards to supersonic jets, engineers know exactly what is needed to break the speed of sound. Once you understand the formula, you become an expert or master in the field, and people rely on your expertise if they ever need what you are offering. This week has been the most taxing, so far, in regards to book promotion. If you have been following me on Facebook, I have been working hard to bring you content through videos to try to create some excitement around the book. I was off all social media platforms since March 2020, and things have definitely changed over these years in regards to censorship, copyright, privacy laws, marketing scams, etc. It is difficult to break through all the fire walls and all the noise. I was told some statistics that blew me away this week, here are a few;
Here are some other statistics from the book writing and authors guild;
So with so many strikes against any budding artist, before they even begin, why publish anything at all? The reasons for each author/artist would be different of course, and everyone I know who writes, writes for pleasure above all things. Although I enjoy writing, I write for a different reason, I write for my reader. I feel commissioned to help you understand that we are under an incredible amount of programming. My desire is to write for pleasure, but with so much noise pollution it is hard to do at this point in my life. I feel that the issues of mind control, propaganda, deception, lies and so on are too important to leave alone. I knew that something was going to break in 2020, and once it did, the commission to write was put into motion. With all the noise surrounding us, on the tablets and smart devices that we hold in our hands, to the mainstream media who peddle the agitating hypnotic overdose of images; how do I help create the sonic boom required to wake us from this hypnosis we are under? It is not getting any better, and any expert/master in any field is lost within a sea of competition and gate-keepers. I have tried to find my audience. But, it is the supposed 8+ billion subscribers who are living life, on a planet called earth, who are being monitored and controlled, that is my audience. Breaking through the noise is very difficult, but not impossible. So what am I offering in regards to my expertise? An Abomination That Caused Desolation is not giving you expert advise on anything, so why promote it? Because, it is giving you understanding of a vey complicated and concerning agenda from the controllers of this world. We have allowed these controllers to penetrate the thoughts (mind), feelings and emotions (heart). We have been agitated to the point of spiritual confusion. We can all "come out of her my people". If we heed to the spirit within, we can all experience the sonic boom of God. It will literally stop you in your tracks, and you will not be questioning the adrenaline rush that encompasses your experience. I am learning to become a master of my mind and heart. I am learning to ascend above the worldly pleasures, worldly desires, and worldly ambitions. I am learning to take my thoughts captive and applying these to my heart. I am learning that my consciousness will help me to ascend to a master, but for now I will accept the title of a "vessel". By the vessel, William John |