Love is in the air. This has been an incredibly emotional week. I am being challenged this week on how to be calm and still. There is a small voice in my head that says to wait on the Lord, whatever that means!? I am also in denial about commitment. One of my BFFs got married this weekend. I have known the bride and groom for about the same amount of time, and have even been accused of introducing the couple, LOL. I didn't want the title of matchmaker because I introduced them during a very tumultuous time for most of us, somewhere in early 2021. Everyone was on lockdown, relationships were highjacked by the masks and social distancing, and let us not forget that Rice Krispies and toilet paper were not on the store shelves. It hasn't been easy to commit to anything, especially for this new couple. The future bride was coming out of many years of addictions, and the future groom was still getting high at every opportunity. But, somehow this couple saw through all the division and committed themselves to one another, letting go of the things which possessed them to falsity. They both had epiphanies that God's way is the only way, which brought us to the witnessing of their convictions. The ceremony and their commitment to one another is an inspiration. At some point, in the spring of this year, I was asked if I would stand up and be a groomsman. I accepted the challenge and bought some new shoes, and dark grey pants for the event. I was not sure of the role that I had committed to, but another BFF put it best, making sure we encourage the groom to stay dedicated and to resolve, not dissolve. This is an interesting perspective, as this is a role that many groomsmen (including myself) have not been communicated to, or properly understood. Many times when the chaos of relationships becomes too much, we encourage people to dissolve and move on. "It's not worth the stress!", is regurgitated from the rhetoric. I believe that one of the reasons that I was so emotional this weekend is not only due to the love I have for the bride and groom but also the lack of commitment I have been faced with over the years. Commitment is a two-party proposition. You are either both "in", or it will never work. Commitment is the glue that holds any relationship together, with indecisiveness and lack of control being the opposite result. Expectations will also lead to disappointment, which is yet, another reason so many relationships fail. No ceremony, ritual, or symbol of commitment will keep relationships together unless the heart is right with God first. We are to serve, not to be served. The perfect will of God is to help one another when the other is hurting, both physically and emotionally. In the context of marriage, becoming one flesh is not sexual intercourse, but the consummation of the heart. It is to work at becoming equally yoked, which means that as a couple you are working for a common goal or desire. Yes, it is easier to believe the same, but more importantly, having the same values. Expectations and arguments surrounding our roles within the institution of marriage should be mute, especially when we want to serve one another. Arguments over whether or not the earth is flat or round should not dissolve commitment. Disappointment over unfulfilled expectations, such as not getting flowers or someone putting the roll of paper towel on the wrong way, should not be the demise of a relationship. Stopping our attitude from frustration over minor details or misunderstandings should come first and forthcoming to resolving feelings of relationship remorse. "If only they did things the way I want or think the way I do", then our life would be blissful. This should be seen as selfishness and not helpfulness. Why do I go off on the relationship tangents I do? Well... everyone I know seems to be dealing with relationship commitments. As someone who was married twice, with multiple failed relationships, I'm exhausted. I see that men and women are being played, not only for monetary means but for morality means. The devil, or at least the symbology, is in the room. The sins that draw us away from commitment, such as the Greener Grass syndrome, are designed to break hearts. "You can do better", rolls around in the mind. "They're no good for you!", strikes a cord on the heart. But, try and try as I may, I seem stuck on repeat, and additionally, many people I am involved with are as well. So many of us have bought into this idea of Greener Grass because we are not content. Being content is being satisfied with what you have, the opposite is true within the heart of coveting. Make your dreams come true, make money, make time for yourself, etcetera, are calls of action against contentment. It just occurred to me, that looking outside of ourselves for something to make us happy is what is meant by, "You can't love others unless you love yourself". A person who is content is usually happy. Wow... I am rarely content, which makes it very difficult to commit. I am also a people pleaser. I often will not say, do, or defend something or someone to appeal to someone's perceptions. My mind is always racing, trying to do the right thing, but my heart struggles to commit. The words that come out of my mouth are often not the same words I place on paper. It is often easier to be alone and avoid confrontation, even though I desire to be with a companion. As I finish this week, I come to a few conclusions for edification. To my newly married brother and sister, Giver'; to my American brothers and sisters this is a Canadian way of saying "You got this" or "Go get your heart desires". I'm so proud to call you my friends. It is obvious commitment is difficult but not impossible, as I am reminded, commitment goes both ways. When two people commit to the same goal and desire, they can be unstoppable. I am also humbled by the fact that the true honor of any commitment MUST be rooted in our Creator, which was manifested in a man named Jesus Christ. Jesus represents the way, the truth, and the life in which we are to commit our lives. It was evident at the ceremony that we are all vessels to the love and unity required to help each other in our commitment and promise to one another. I promise to be the groomsman that I was commissioned to be, edifying and building on the promise that we all contain. Putting on new shoes and walking the talk. One last thing I concluded, Jesus was single... just saying... LOL. In love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, William John
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November 2024
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