![]() The schemes of evil masquerade as sweet-tasting pleasures, propagating the spirit of the seven deadly sins, which trigger the small dopamine hits of bliss. The highs and lows that come from the euphoric feeling of temporary pleasure are exhausting to the soul, coming with a price and undesired consequences, sometimes leading to death. Everything has an expiration, including our physical body, so choose this day whom you will follow... Life or Death. Have you heard the definition of insanity? It is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. How about the less-known definition of depression? Depression is the result of unfulfilled expectations. No wonder we have a generation of insanity and depression. Women, men, and everything in between, have been bombarded with insane expectations. It starts young in the minds and hearts of our children with, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Where, what, how, and when do you want to achieve your goals? Go to school, get edumacated, make as much money as possible before you are 50, and have a beautiful house with a beautiful spouse. Propagate the pattern until the exasperation and anxiety set in, and trauma is accepted. There is a huge problem with the institutionalized formula, it is a connection with one another and partnership commitment. Many of us are looking for the answers, and desire to come out of the matrix, but we are unsure how to do the work. So we scour the internet to find meaning and purpose and help to overcome our dopamine-induced anxiety and depression. The Internet gurus have found victory over their narcissistic partners, dopamine pleasures, and anxiety triggers, giving us hope that we can also be included in the victory circle of living life and the release of past trauma. Our attempts at creating a healthy mindset are met with futile results, and we realize that we are on the crazy train to the abyss. Relationship Gurus are littering the social platforms and mainstream media, as it is a hot topic. For most of us, the desire to be in a committed relationship is an obvious proposition. We are willing to do the work, but what is it we are working for exactly? Do we understand that nobody is perfect and that the manipulation that comes from higher expectations is driving us apart? The life we have been manipulated to believe in probably does not exist. Are we trying to keep up with others in their make-believe social media status, insane monthly payments with two weeks of vacation, or soul-robbing manicures and pedicures for attracting the next three-month rendezvous year after year? We want to do the work, but it doesn't seem profitable or achievable. Lately, I have been suffering from the insanity and depression that come from modern-day relationship expectations. Men have been taught to be passive and "take it like a man", as their partners throw insults and depreciate any good intentions. Most men in these situations want to defend themselves, which is seen as aggression. So men turn inward and fail to communicate because any discussion will ultimately be an outright admittance of wrongdoing and not understanding our partner's feelings. "I'm sorry", becomes a confusing statement on both sides of the feelies debate, and the circle of chaos continues. Depression sets in, and failure to communicate persists. I am not a passive person. I am passionate and willing to fight back when I feel threatened or losing the cooperation battle. I have been taught to stick up for myself and don't give in to bullies. If I'm honest, I don't appreciate correction and I don't like to be lorded over or controlled, which is problematic when someone is demanding to have me do something their way. I don't like to be manipulated, coerced, or criticized, and I tend to overreact when the aforementioned are present. Saying this, I am extremely compassionate, loyal, patient, kind, and fair. It takes a lot to make me angry, but when pushed too far, I explode! When the explosion happens, it is difficult to take words and actions back. We only have one option, ask for forgiveness. The problem for most people, is they only see how their partners react, and rarely take responsibility for triggering the explosive response in someone. Agitation to win the fight, instead of recognition of going too far. Many times in these blogs I end up making it personal for a reason, we are all different, but it is nice to know that someone is going through similar circumstances, feelings, or life challenges. Men and women are polar opposites in so many ways, and the schemes of evil use our polarization as division, instead of addition. I hope that my words resonate with the challenges that many couples are going through. I know that nobody is perfect, and I never want to be held to a higher position of authority, as this would be hypocritical. So I make it personal, raw, and as honest as I can in an attempt to help break the chains that have us bound and submitted to the schemes of evil. As I get older, I am faced with the challenges of where I go from here, what is life's purpose, and finding joy and happiness in less than-lovely circumstances. Failure has been my stumbling block, and picking up pieces that are strewn about seems pointless. Yes, the pieces of the past have made us who we are, and there is no escaping the effect it has had on our mind, body, and soul. Our healing comes from choosing to pick ourselves up and don't look back. Leave any rotten and broken pieces behind, by choosing instead to follow the truth, the way, and the life. We will always be faced with temptations in life, but understanding how to navigate temptation is key to living a happy joyful life. The guilt of partaking in temporary pleasures needs to be shed to truly move through life without trauma triggers. Holding on to trauma will ultimately be the possession that drives people insane. I hate the cliches', but it is true, "Give it to God"! Letting go of trauma possession, and leaving it behind is the true path to healing. I bring this up because so many people throw trauma around like arrows to the heart. "I'm this or that" or "you're this or that" mud-slinging rhetoric in an attempt to give license to crappy behavior. We need to stop this behavior if we want to have success in life ever-lasting. The schemes of evil masquerade as sweet-tasting pleasure, don't be fooled. The desires of your heart will be manifested in your intentions. If your heart's desire is LIFE, you'll love. If your heart's desire is death, you'll hate. A pleasurable life starts with honorable intentions, understanding, and the fruits of the spirit, such as love, kindness, patience, and peace. Choosing life is an obvious choice, and it is found in the heart. Until next week, William John
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![]() "We're only as sick as our secrets," this was quoted by Ace Frehley who was a member of the band KISS in an interview several years ago. This quote resonated with me this week as I have been working with a secret. The secret came from a time when promiscuity was normal and "free love" promoted unconfined meaningless intercourse. There were consequences in the free love movement, as sex certainly was not free. The truth is, that everyone has to deal with feelings of guilt from wrongful actions at some point in their life. The hippies of the sixties had a few choices for their lustful actions, one of which was to bury the guilt with secrecy. The secret was originally brought to my attention by a family member who didn't feel right holding on to the private affair. It is a difficult conversation to have when the people whom we love have been caught in a scandalous relationship. There is a huge problem with the scandal as everyone involved has passed away, and we have been left with the consequences and questions. The consequences almost got buried, but due to the technology of DNA, the secret was exposed. Our new family member knows the truth and is now curious about his roots, there is no healing when hiding secrets, and I am reminded of the saying, "The truth will set you free". As many of my readers know, I can't help but make biblical references from time to time. There is a passage of scripture that I now understand means until a guilty person repents and asks for forgiveness the sins (secrets) will be handed down for generations, found in the book of Exodus 34:7. This was written at a time before DNA technology and was given to Moses, a man who did not know his biological parents. In the case of the hippies of the sixties, who had children out of less-than-beautiful circumstances, secrecy appeared to be the only option. The secret and any evidence of wrongdoing would be buried with it for three to four generations. I'm writing this with a renewed understanding and I see now that it can take a minimum of three generations to bury a secret, father/mother, son/daughter, and grandchildren. Many years ago I hired a young man who was adopted. His "closed adoption" made it difficult to find his biological parents. He longed to find the truth of his adoption and his biological parents. In his words to me, "I want to know why I think the way I do." He never felt part of his adopted parents' life because he knew he was different. He was an intellectual, polite, determined young man, full of anger and self-destruction. He was sent to counseling for years to determine why he would not comply and be like the other kids, but when he expressed his feelings of loneliness for not knowing his biological roots it was always met with resistance. The gatekeepers to the pieces of paper of closed adoption rhetoric failed to see that they could help this young man grow spiritually by allowing the truth to set him free. It was simple, made difficult by the govern (control)-ment (mind). I felt sorry for the young man and encouraged him to find an agent to help him find his biological parents and the secrecy that surrounded his adoption. The plethora of stories bred from the intimate rendezvous' in a back alley or broom closet somewhere is staggering. It has made shows like Maury Povich or The Genetic Detective popular beyond all comprehension. Because of our sick fascination with pointing fingers at wrongdoers and mocking their actions, society has made exposing secrets profitable, and not honorable. Nobody wants to be caught in the crossfire between the shameful action and the consequences, it should not be put on public display. We are no better than the people being mocked publicly. Protection seems to be the biggest reason for secrecy, I know this all too well, as my childhood innocence had been stolen. Whenever a perpetrator of childhood innocence is grooming their victim, the secrecy card is pulled and fear is introduced. "Shhhhh...this is our little secret", and "You don't want me to hurt you and/or the people you love". I only bring this forward for understanding, not "Woe is me". I was determined to hide the shameful action to protect my family and myself. I was about 12 years old when I exposed the secret to my mom. Exposing lies is usually the first step in any healing process and/or spiritual journey. I felt free and liberated from the guilt which was imposed on me. The truth had set me free. In the case of my new family member, who are we protecting? The actions of two consenting adults who fell victim to the lust of the flesh or the consequences of the action? Are we protecting feelings, and whose feelings? Are we trying to safeguard made-up accusations in our heads? Everyone we are trying to protect has been laid to rest, it's okay to embrace the consequences of actions within the beautiful soul that was created. "Blood is thicker than water", or "Genes are stronger than adoption". The truth will set everyone free. This whole exercise of secret-keeping has been exhausting. I have done stupid things over my 50+ years of living, some things have been shameful, and I am not proud of my actions. I also realize that I am not going to stay in my stupidity, I've learned from my actions, and I have asked for forgiveness from the people whom I feel that I have wronged. If I am ever asked if I did something stupid, with a clear conscience I can say, "Yes I did" followed by, "I apologized, and have released any feelings of guilt that have kept me living with the repercussions of wrongful actions". The newest known member of our family is...well... Family! Hiding the fact that he exists is not going to change the consequences. I have chosen to embrace the consequences, not because I am self-righteous, but because it is the right thing to do, and it exudes loving action. I am not writing this in an attempt to throw certain family members under the bus, but to use our circumstances as a learning example for the many thousands/millions of families dealing with the same state of affairs. As I think of Ace Frehley's quote, it is true, that we are only as sick as our secrets. How many people throughout the years have been plagued with PTSD as a result of wrongful actions or protecting criminals for unmentionable activity? How many people throughout the years have sought help from psychologists, psychiatrists, or counselors, only to be told that everything shared is confidential and secret? It is a known fact that keeping someone fearful keeps a body in the adrenaline response of fight, flight, or freeze. A mind, body, and soul kept in this response for too long causes heart problems and early death. I have since learned that Ace Frehley was quoting from the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program. While I ponder my family's response to this latest blog, "Welcome to the family Len!" In love, William John ![]() "And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head." Matthew 8:19-20 KJV It is difficult doing life on your own, with no place to lay one's head. I am one of the fortunate ones, I have a place to call home, but it is getting tougher as the months and years go by. Rents are soaring, and it appears the heart of giving is also fading. I am surprised how many people I come into contact with are concerned about the housing crisis, but have 3 houses and vacation homes that sit empty. Let's face it, and be honest, we have a heart crisis. People are naturally greedy and want to exude an extravagant lifestyle to massage their egos. I'm not judging, only observing, as I am guilty by association. So many of my friends and family are working to pay bills, not working for the benefit of others. So many of us want to help bring change to our circumstances, not to help extinguish the misfortunes of others. We have way too much, and it shows in the many hoards of garbage piled in many yards and homes in every town and city in every nation on earth. Buying and selling is a way of life, and it is a life I was all too familiar with. Pre-determined and perceived obsolescence are the mastermind disguises for multi-level marketing profits. We have been conditioned to keep consuming from the world of big corporations, instead of giving from the abundance of the cycle of life and living. I am surrounded by the gluttony, as I look across the street and see another homeless victim from the drug-induced rhetoric that possessed their soul. It is sad. As a result, I'm lonely and I believe Jesus was as well. Sure Jesus had an entourage of followers, however when the critical point of following Jesus was met with losing everything the people scattered. As Jesus looked up, only twelve were left, and not all twelve had his best interest at heart. Jesus knew that the hearts of some of these men who sat around him were deceitfully wicked, namely Judas. Money drove the heart of Judas, and he was willing to sacrifice a man he claimed he loved for all intents and purposes, pocket change. What an absolutely bizarre story, but it is true. Throughout time in every nation, tongue, creed, and culture, there have been people who have the heart of Judas. These people are willing to kill the souls of humankind, both metaphorically and spiritually, for pocket change. We would much rather watch from a distance than offer a homeless person a place to shower, eat, and lay their head for a night. It is easier to give a percentage of the pocket change to a governmental faceless socialized institution. "I give", we argue, as we pass the rows of homeless placards pleading for help. Jesus was neither the homeless placard carrier nor the ten percent giver, he was a messenger and vessel for truth. He carried with him the keys to the kingdom. Anyone who chose to follow Jesus with a pure heart was willing to sacrifice their own lives for the lives of others. The apostles laid down their lives to show a better way by following the teacher named Jesus, through spreading the truth, which paved the way for life everlasting. As a result, most of the early apostles and followers of Jesus were homeless. So... I digress... I originally started writing to get a message out that I chose to believe was from God. I knew that what I was writing was controversial, as it goes completely contrary to the narrative spewed from the MSM and pulpit denominationalism. It is ultimately a story of LOVE and how to come out of a system designed to enslave us, but it is a difficult story to swallow. The idea of losing everything because we won't comply with the system is... well... difficult, to say it simply. I realize now that the message is not for the faint of heart, it takes courage. I don't have enough courage to go on this journey alone, I want an entourage of like-minded people to help. I keep getting side-tracked because I desire to have a wife and a life, without the interference of outside socialized influence. I want to do life the way that I understand happiness, joy, and peace to appear, sprinkled in with a plethora of things, such as a nice car, a beautiful wife, success, and a house on the lake. My heart is divided, the desire for things is powerful, and my desire to follow the call is equally strong. I find myself wondering and wandering. "What is my purpose?", as I move through life's journey. I've worked hard and had it stripped away, like many people who didn't comply with the mandates imposed on our sovereignty and autonomy. So many of us are starting over. I'm not going to lie... it sucks. I can pretend all I want, but I am just a man feeding a system that I refuse to agree with. "What don't you agree with", some question as they take a sip of their ten-dollar coffee as they read this on their laptops, iPads, or Smartphones. Yes, I'm grateful, as I stated before, I'm not homeless. I live in two different worlds. One that rewards our good work through flattery and the plethora of luxury that our hearts would ever desire. The second is the obvious suffering that many others have been subjected to. The message of Jesus was simple, yet difficult. The road is narrow, and it shows in the heart. How will we make money, pay the bills, drive a nice car, or buy a nice home? Every time I take a moment to listen and see, it's obvious, that money does not buy happiness. But the voices in my head say, "Look all this can be yours if you just follow the system, it works". What is the conclusion then? For each person, it will be different. Prayer and meditation are the keys to understanding the voices inside our heads. Confirmation from others that resonates with our souls helps our path of understanding. We are all hands and feet to a larger assignment, helping one another on the narrow path. Jesus may have been homeless, but he wasn't useless. The ideas placed forth by a man who walked the earth two thousand years ago were to inspire us, not dishearten us. Changing our heart's desires, and putting people before possessions should be the ultimate goal. By a vessel, William John ![]() Love is in the air. This has been an incredibly emotional week. I am being challenged this week on how to be calm and still. There is a small voice in my head that says to wait on the Lord, whatever that means!? I am also in denial about commitment. One of my BFFs got married this weekend. I have known the bride and groom for about the same amount of time, and have even been accused of introducing the couple, LOL. I didn't want the title of matchmaker because I introduced them during a very tumultuous time for most of us, somewhere in early 2021. Everyone was on lockdown, relationships were highjacked by the masks and social distancing, and let us not forget that Rice Krispies and toilet paper were not on the store shelves. It hasn't been easy to commit to anything, especially for this new couple. The future bride was coming out of many years of addictions, and the future groom was still getting high at every opportunity. But, somehow this couple saw through all the division and committed themselves to one another, letting go of the things which possessed them to falsity. They both had epiphanies that God's way is the only way, which brought us to the witnessing of their convictions. The ceremony and their commitment to one another is an inspiration. At some point, in the spring of this year, I was asked if I would stand up and be a groomsman. I accepted the challenge and bought some new shoes, and dark grey pants for the event. I was not sure of the role that I had committed to, but another BFF put it best, making sure we encourage the groom to stay dedicated and to resolve, not dissolve. This is an interesting perspective, as this is a role that many groomsmen (including myself) have not been communicated to, or properly understood. Many times when the chaos of relationships becomes too much, we encourage people to dissolve and move on. "It's not worth the stress!", is regurgitated from the rhetoric. I believe that one of the reasons that I was so emotional this weekend is not only due to the love I have for the bride and groom but also the lack of commitment I have been faced with over the years. Commitment is a two-party proposition. You are either both "in", or it will never work. Commitment is the glue that holds any relationship together, with indecisiveness and lack of control being the opposite result. Expectations will also lead to disappointment, which is yet, another reason so many relationships fail. No ceremony, ritual, or symbol of commitment will keep relationships together unless the heart is right with God first. We are to serve, not to be served. The perfect will of God is to help one another when the other is hurting, both physically and emotionally. In the context of marriage, becoming one flesh is not sexual intercourse, but the consummation of the heart. It is to work at becoming equally yoked, which means that as a couple you are working for a common goal or desire. Yes, it is easier to believe the same, but more importantly, having the same values. Expectations and arguments surrounding our roles within the institution of marriage should be mute, especially when we want to serve one another. Arguments over whether or not the earth is flat or round should not dissolve commitment. Disappointment over unfulfilled expectations, such as not getting flowers or someone putting the roll of paper towel on the wrong way, should not be the demise of a relationship. Stopping our attitude from frustration over minor details or misunderstandings should come first and forthcoming to resolving feelings of relationship remorse. "If only they did things the way I want or think the way I do", then our life would be blissful. This should be seen as selfishness and not helpfulness. Why do I go off on the relationship tangents I do? Well... everyone I know seems to be dealing with relationship commitments. As someone who was married twice, with multiple failed relationships, I'm exhausted. I see that men and women are being played, not only for monetary means but for morality means. The devil, or at least the symbology, is in the room. The sins that draw us away from commitment, such as the Greener Grass syndrome, are designed to break hearts. "You can do better", rolls around in the mind. "They're no good for you!", strikes a cord on the heart. But, try and try as I may, I seem stuck on repeat, and additionally, many people I am involved with are as well. So many of us have bought into this idea of Greener Grass because we are not content. Being content is being satisfied with what you have, the opposite is true within the heart of coveting. Make your dreams come true, make money, make time for yourself, etcetera, are calls of action against contentment. It just occurred to me, that looking outside of ourselves for something to make us happy is what is meant by, "You can't love others unless you love yourself". A person who is content is usually happy. Wow... I am rarely content, which makes it very difficult to commit. I am also a people pleaser. I often will not say, do, or defend something or someone to appeal to someone's perceptions. My mind is always racing, trying to do the right thing, but my heart struggles to commit. The words that come out of my mouth are often not the same words I place on paper. It is often easier to be alone and avoid confrontation, even though I desire to be with a companion. As I finish this week, I come to a few conclusions for edification. To my newly married brother and sister, Giver'; to my American brothers and sisters this is a Canadian way of saying "You got this" or "Go get your heart desires". I'm so proud to call you my friends. It is obvious commitment is difficult but not impossible, as I am reminded, commitment goes both ways. When two people commit to the same goal and desire, they can be unstoppable. I am also humbled by the fact that the true honor of any commitment MUST be rooted in our Creator, which was manifested in a man named Jesus Christ. Jesus represents the way, the truth, and the life in which we are to commit our lives. It was evident at the ceremony that we are all vessels to the love and unity required to help each other in our commitment and promise to one another. I promise to be the groomsman that I was commissioned to be, edifying and building on the promise that we all contain. Putting on new shoes and walking the talk. One last thing I concluded, Jesus was single... just saying... LOL. In love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, William John |
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