Triggering Trauma

The schemes of evil masquerade as sweet-tasting pleasures, propagating the spirit of the seven deadly sins, which trigger the small dopamine hits of bliss. The highs and lows that come from the euphoric feeling of temporary pleasure are exhausting to the soul, coming with a price and undesired consequences, sometimes leading to death. Everything has an expiration, including our physical body, so choose this day whom you will follow... Life or Death. 

Have you heard the definition of insanity? It is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. How about the less-known definition of depression? Depression is the result of unfulfilled expectations. No wonder we have a generation of insanity and depression. Women, men, and everything in between, have been bombarded with insane expectations. It starts young in the minds and hearts of our children with, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Where, what, how, and when do you want to achieve your goals? Go to school, get edumacated, make as much money as possible before you are 50, and have a beautiful house with a beautiful spouse. Propagate the pattern until the exasperation and anxiety set in, and trauma is accepted. 

There is a huge problem with the institutionalized formula, it is a connection with one another and partnership commitment. Many of us are looking for the answers, and desire to come out of the matrix, but we are unsure how to do the work. So we scour the internet to find meaning and purpose and help to overcome our dopamine-induced anxiety and depression. The Internet gurus have found victory over their narcissistic partners, dopamine pleasures, and anxiety triggers, giving us hope that we can also be included in the victory circle of living life and the release of past trauma. Our attempts at creating a healthy mindset are met with futile results, and we realize that we are on the crazy train to the abyss. 
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Relationship Gurus are littering the social platforms and mainstream media, as it is a hot topic. For most of us, the desire to be in a committed relationship is an obvious proposition. We are willing to do the work, but what is it we are working for exactly? Do we understand that nobody is perfect and that the manipulation that comes from higher expectations is driving us apart? The life we have been manipulated to believe in probably does not exist. Are we trying to keep up with others in their make-believe social media status, insane monthly payments with two weeks of vacation, or soul-robbing manicures and pedicures for attracting the next three-month rendezvous year after year? We want to do the work, but it doesn't seem profitable or achievable. 

Lately, I have been suffering from the insanity and depression that come from modern-day relationship expectations. Men have been taught to be passive and "take it like a man", as their partners throw insults and depreciate any good intentions. Most men in these situations want to defend themselves, which is seen as aggression. So men turn inward and fail to communicate because any discussion will ultimately be an outright admittance of wrongdoing and not understanding our partner's feelings. "I'm sorry", becomes a confusing statement on both sides of the feelies debate, and the circle of chaos continues. Depression sets in, and failure to communicate persists.  

I am not a passive person. I am passionate and willing to fight back when I feel threatened or losing the cooperation battle. I have been taught to stick up for myself and don't give in to bullies. If I'm honest, I don't appreciate correction and I don't like to be lorded over or controlled, which is problematic when someone is demanding to have me do something their way. I don't like to be manipulated, coerced, or criticized, and I tend to overreact when the aforementioned are present. Saying this, I am extremely compassionate, loyal, patient, kind, and fair. It takes a lot to make me angry, but when pushed too far, I explode! When the explosion happens, it is difficult to take words and actions back. We only have one option, ask for forgiveness. The problem for most people, is they only see how their partners react, and rarely take responsibility for triggering the explosive response in someone. Agitation to win the fight,  instead of recognition of going too far.

Many times in these blogs I end up making it personal for a reason, we are all different, but it is nice to know that someone is going through similar circumstances, feelings, or life challenges. Men and women are polar opposites in so many ways, and the schemes of evil use our polarization as division, instead of addition. I hope that my words resonate with the challenges that many couples are going through. I know that nobody is perfect, and I never want to be held to a higher position of authority, as this would be hypocritical. So I make it personal, raw, and as honest as I can in an attempt to help break the chains that have us bound and submitted to the schemes of evil.

As I get older, I am faced with the challenges of where I go from here, what is life's purpose, and finding joy and happiness in less than-lovely circumstances. Failure has been my stumbling block, and picking up pieces that are strewn about seems pointless. Yes, the pieces of the past have made us who we are,  and there is no escaping the effect it has had on our mind, body, and soul. Our healing comes from choosing to pick ourselves up and don't look back. Leave any rotten and broken pieces behind, by choosing instead to follow the truth, the way, and the life.  

We will always be faced with temptations in life, but understanding how to navigate temptation is key to living a happy joyful life. The guilt of partaking in temporary pleasures needs to be shed to truly move through life without trauma triggers. Holding on to trauma will ultimately be the possession that drives people insane. I hate the cliches', but it is true, "Give it to God"! Letting go of trauma possession, and leaving it behind is the true path to healing. I bring this up because so many people throw trauma around like arrows to the heart. "I'm this or that" or "you're this or that" mud-slinging rhetoric in an attempt to give license to crappy behavior. We need to stop this behavior if we want to have success in life ever-lasting.

The schemes of evil masquerade as sweet-tasting pleasure, don't be fooled. The desires of your heart will be manifested in your intentions. If your heart's desire is LIFE, you'll love. If your heart's desire is death, you'll hate. A pleasurable life starts with honorable intentions, understanding, and the fruits of the spirit, such as love, kindness, patience, and peace. Choosing life is an obvious choice, and it is found in the heart.

Until next week, 

​William John​

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