the art of deflection

I'm a fricking Narcissist!

A few years ago I was going through a tough break-up and I had never paid attention to the word narcissist. During this break-up, my mind was swimming in confusion because it appeared that I didn't know what I was saying, remembering, or what my intentions were. I had always tried my best to be fair and honest, but everything I did appeared to be... well... wrong.

It was also during this break-up that I learned that "I" was a classic narcissist. The word got thrown at me so often during the days and weeks that I naturally accepted the title. The person who was supposed to be my biggest supporter in the day-to-day activities of life saw me as a stain on the family because of my narcissism. I was confused by where this narcissism came from, so in an attempt to be edumacated, I started watching videos and reading articles on the subject.

I realized something through all my hours wasted in the endless void of information, narcissists NEVER admit wrong-doing and they ALWAYS DEFLECT.

So that is it! You now know as much as I do regarding narcissism.

I mentioned in blogs past that I used to be a sales manager, and I spent many hours teaching the art of selling. Part of the art of selling is to never admit wrongdoing as this is not only a sign of weakness but also an unspoken admission of guilty intentions. This sales tactic has now been implemented through propaganda tactics on your favorite news and social media feeds, as no one seems to want to admit they are wrong.

The art of deflection is acceptance rejection.

Every culture, creed, nation, and religion has a version of the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have done to you". In narcissistic culture the golden rule is this, "Deflect your feelings unto others as you see necessary", best practiced in a romantic relationship. The idea that our actions are making somebody feel anything is problematic, especially for the empathetic or loving person. This is not in the context of verbal and/or physical abuse which I am very aware happens. It is in the context of throwing your feelings of displeasure about something onto someone else and never admitting any wrongdoing upon oneself. 

This week has been very mind-consuming. It has me reflecting on love and hate. In my blog Provoked to Anger, I tackle the question of being pushed to the point of no return, and how this can be translated to hate. I also keep hearing the song by INXS, Devil Inside, roll around in my head. We all have a button (could be a word) that triggers us, but it is how we process these words in which we need to take our actions and thoughts captive. Are we going to listen to the devil inside (demonic presence) or something that encapsulates love and unity?  

Many characters throughout history have tried to get our minds set right on the mindful actions of love, as there is no confusion in love. I choose to love, and I am mindful of my actions toward others. I am refusing to fall under the narcissistic snares of the devil's voice. I have been learning a lot about hate as it masquerades as love, the greatest trick of all time. 

Love your neighbor as yourself, meaning love everyone in the world equally. In An Abomination That Caused Desolation, I place some groups in the "evil" category, but not once do I say I hate these groups and/or kinds of people. In fact, the truth is I understand (somewhat) why they think the way they do. I choose to educate in a loving matter, not berate with hate. It has always been my intention to learn to love my undesirables, my enemies.

I learned that my intentions to love have been scrutinized by on-lookers this week. Some people noticed that I was putting up several heart emojis instead of a thumbs-up. I was being judged on my intentions.

​For the record, I will continue to spread love, as this is my intention. I am not looking for some kind of warm fuzzies back, some weird dopamine hit of affirmation, or some message from a secret crush. I just want to see more loving action in the world, and if it starts with an invitation for lunch or a silly heart emoji, I'm all in.

I don't care if you are a woman or man, obese or skinny, ugly or pretty, over 80 or under 18, my intention is the same. I will remain steadfast in the truth that I learned from the Almighty, the Creator of all things. Let us be vessels for the change required to move the world, and let us not judge the intentions of others, before recognizing our own intentions.  

Love Always, 
William John

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