learning to fight

When I was about 5 years old I got my first lesson on how to fight.
I was walking home after school, which was about 7-9 blocks, by myself (this was 1976 and very normal, so don't call social services on my parents), when I was ambushed by two older boys. They threw snow in my face and terrified the living daylights out of me. I was able to escape, by leaving my jacket and Evil Kinevil lunch box behind, never looking back as the adrenaline had me sprinting home. Once home I broke down in tears, while mom comforted me with a hug and preparing a snack and drink. 

When dad got home, mom had me replay the story. I started crying again. Dad said "Are you hurt?"
"na, na, na, noooo", I struggle through my sniffles, and hurt feelings.
"Why are you crying then?", with his smirking grin.
"I, I, I, I...those b, b, b, boys pushed me"
"Why didn't you push them back?"
"b, b ,b, b, because....they were bigger than me....". As I gather the strength to find my words as I snort one last tear through my nose. I was not quite understanding where dad is going with this?
Dad says something that I will never forget to this day, "Never go looking for a fight, but defend yourself, and push those boys back".

The next day after school those two boys were waiting for me again, as it seems that they got quite the thrill terrifying and harassing me. This time I did what my dad said, I pushed them back. One boy fell down on his butt, and the other decided he was not going to stick around to witness what would happened next, running from the scene as terrified as I was only 24 hours prior. I yelled at the boy on the ground, "NOW LEAVE ME ALONE! (or something like that).

I felt like such a hero, and I exuded confidence as I strutted home. When Dad got home, I was so proud to tell him what happened. He gave me a big hug, and said, "See, don't let people push you around". I earned respect and gained confidence that day.  Those boys never messed with me again.

When the pandemic of 2020 happened I never once waivered on my stance to the mask and/or the upcoming vaccines. I saw it for what it was, and I pledged that I would stand in front of the bullies, unfortunately the bullies were the people closest to me. It got so bad that our home became divided, and I eventually had to leave the toxic environment that was created by all the confusion from the constant lies, deception and misinformation.

I found a tribe of like minded individuals, and on-lookers from other tribes began the steady campaign of mockery, slander, accusations, insults, anger, and hate. I was constantly checking in with my new tribe, as I was not sure how to fight back.  The group consensus was just a matter of time before some of these people would see that their behavior was offending and criminal.

I started to pull back from the community, as all the harassment and accusations was too much. Eventually I escaped to better pastures where no one knew my name, and I was able to create a new life. As I got settled into the new community, there was one thing I couldn't escape, myself. I brought the feelings of resentment with me, and the battle to defend myself seemed to control my new life. 

I talked back to the bullies, and this time the bullies made sure I was reprimanded. They made sure that I learned to respect the system built on lies and thus kept me silent and compliant. This was the golden opportunity, as I took something distressing and struck back with a book about love and unity. There is one problem with the book, I wrote it. If you want to discredit the person who typed the manuscript, you won't need to look very far. However, you cannot discredit the message. 

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes".  Ephesians 6:11

I am still working on putting on the full armor of God. The devil has whispered into the ears of the people I love the most, trying to sway me from the work that is still required. I can't play in that mine field any longer, and I need to continue to ask for guidance. The strong-hold that the devil has on some of the most precious people in my life is astonishing and concerning.

The world needs change. Everyone needs to be vessels for this change to occur.  Everyone needs to stop fighting one another, and look at themselves before scrutinizing others. Don't hang on words, to criticize. Do take the message, to edify.  Treat others how you want to be treated, not expecting anything in return. Pay attention to the schemes of the devil, don't let him get a stronghold.

I did not start the fight, but it looks like I am getting some of my tribe back, in order to fight back. We will unite and eventually push the schemers to the ground in submission. 

Love Always, 
William John 

PS - My dad and I got in the car after dinner and retrieved my jacket and Evil Kinevil lunch box, they were still in the place that I was ambushed.

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