Surrender to Love

Life is beautiful. Life is full of emotions, such as heartache and sorrow, or, heartwarming and joyful. We live in a juxtaposition of good and evil, love and hate, happiness and anger. We choose this day which one we desire to follow, and it resonates in the heart. The symbolism of juxtaposition in life can be found in all cultures and civilizations throughout every lifespan, since the beginning of time. The yin yang, the karma, the consequences, the religious rhetoric, and never forget the Christian symbolism of Jesus and Satan.

Throughout my life, I have prayed for the desires of my heart. I love life, I relish in the beauty of creation and all that life has to offer. I have loved and been loved. I have hated and been hated. The truth is we all have. I write this with my desire to help you and I find the true meaning of life, to LOVE…

I am reminded of what I learned throughout my life, and it starts in the heart. Relationships have been especially hard for most people, and not just romantic relationships. There is an ongoing campaign, or so it seems, to divide people and have us focusing and criticizing our differences. The campaign has targeted the heart, making us focus on specks in people's eyes, instead of removing the planks in our own eyes. Our selfish nature, our ego, and our wanting to be better than others are easy targets for people with too much pride, too much arrogance, and too much trauma. Trauma? The "get out of jail" free card, gives those in possession the propensity for bad behavior. Taking instead of giving, hating instead of loving, men against women, and specialty groups challenging the status quo. For many, it is too much to handle, and checking out instead of stepping up is become the norm. We surrender.

Within the romantic partnership category, too many couples are focusing on what they can change in their significant other, rather than accepting and caring for someone the way that they are. Couples are being encouraged to look elsewhere when the going gets tough. Complaining instead of campaigning about our significant other. No wonder that relationships are failing at an alarming rate. Again, the pressure to maintain healthy living within the crisis of life has taken its toll on our souls. Relationships are difficult because we choose selfish ambition over selfless ambition. We are choosing to surrender.

Lately, my healthy boundaries have been compromised with the unreasonable expectations that come from someone’s selfishness. I have failed and the goalposts of expectations have broadened. I have heard the concerns, but I can’t change anyone’s past or my own. Everyone makes mistakes, but it is how we deal with missing the mark that will have us either learn or repeat the pattern. It feels like a losing battle, and the surrender flags have been raised.

What are the answers then?

In the Bible, where I take much of my teaching, we are taught how to love one another, but also states that in the end days, people "will be lovers of self rather than lovers of God". What does it mean to love God then? So many people who get married turn to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 for their vows to one another, even Atheists have heard these rules for loving;

“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails, But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”  

Also, the Bible states that we are the encourage and edify one another. We are also not to be partakers in evil, and to watch for the wolves in sheep’s clothing. We are to help people where we can, not to cast pearls before swine. In other words, be kind, grateful, loving, and if you can afford to give to someone in need, give and don’t be selfish. Give without ceasing, and with a grateful heart expecting nothing in return. If you are feeling used, or that someone is being ungrateful, then learn to be wise with your time and resources and dust your feet. Encouraging words and affirmation will help better than a handout. Edifying people with their gifts and abilities helps to build communities and strengthen relationships.  

The same is true in our romantic relationships. Always take a moment to breathe, meditate, or pray when complications arise. Be calm and treat others how you want to be treated in the same situation. So many couples are struggling, they do the opposite of treating others with patience and kindness, choosing instead to demand that their partner treat them using the techniques learned from their favorite online podcast gurus. 

In case you missed it; many couples rely on their partner to make them happy, instead of learning to love first with no expectations. True love never demands anything. Unfortunately, most people look toward others for their happiness and insist that if their partner loved them, they would do things the way they wanted. The slippery slope of taking instead of giving, and losing focus leads to divorce, separation, and next.

I failed many times at being loving. I try but it seems harder in 2024, as coveting is at record levels. Keeping up with the Jones, body reconstruction, a pill to make you feel better, and can all be displayed on your favorite social media feed. It is much easier to love when we are alone, the expectations of a partner often pollute love. It is our selfish nature. Do we surrender, or do we choose instead what path paved in love? Choose what you want to follow. In my opinion, there is no source greater than Jesus, the guru of love.

As we go through our days and weeks, let us be mindful of how to love.

​By the vessel,
William John​

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