Solution Pollution

Lately, I have been hearing the phrase “Trauma Bonded”. What is Trauma Bonding and why has it become such a buzz, especially in the arena of romantic relationships? Taken from the online dictionary, the definition of TB is this.

"Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. The person experiencing abuse may develop sympathy for the abusive person, which becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse, followed by remorse. Trauma bonding occurs when the abused person forms a connection or relationship with the person who abuses them."

Along with the words gaslighting, narcissist, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, ODD, ADHD, and numerous psychological lingos for poor behavior, it is getting overwhelming. We now have the tools to blame and label someone for their poor choices, behavior, actions, and reactions without anyone taking responsibility for their part in the chaotic cycle. From the definition above, the cycle of abuse is only exhausted when someone cuts ties and extinguishes the connection. But herein lies the problem; love, compassion, and sympathy are desirable traits. The glue that holds any relationship together should not be past trauma, but being passionate about being compassionate. Trying to fix someone or help someone overcome past hurts is a difficult task in romantic relationships. Sympathy is the symphony of the narcissistic mind.

Something else is going on here, and nobody wants to discuss it, demonic possession.

Labeling behavior with fancy words from an institution that began with mind control tricks should be cause for concern. At the turn of the 20th century, psychology was seen as pseudo-science and was to have no part in society. Poor behavior was seen as something that could be spanked out of a child, and rehabilitation for the adult was bleak. The pioneers of psychological reasoning experimented heavily with concoctions of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). These little concoctions from the sorcerers found their way into every white-washed institution on the planet. Various forms of these little pills could be used to trick the mind into responding with any result the administer desired. Pills became the hope and rehabilitation for the trauma-induced or demonic-possessed individual. Polluting the mind is the gateway to the heart and is a powerful weapon to be used against ourselves.

OK, I hear the clamoring right now, and I want to make myself very clear, demon possession is real.  Demon possession was accepted terminology until the 20th century, but our understanding has been polluted by religious dogma, social institutions, propaganda, mind control, misinformation, deception, and lies. Don’t believe me? Well, I could sugarcoat the terminology, so that you are not triggered, but this is exactly what the perpetrators of evil and control want, to make the information irrelevant because it is contrary to the programming. I concur, I am also being manipulated by misinformation and lies, and the produced fear of mocking and shame. Demons, whether real or imagined, hold the keys to hate, aggression, manipulation, lies, deception, sexual deviancy, and so on. Holding on to these traits is called possession. 

Here is the unfortunate truth; Many people are possessed by their past wrongs. An over-zealous mother, a rage-stricken drunken father, or an untrustworthy chameleon uncle could be past wrongs one holds onto. How about, the guilt of doing something wrong and never getting caught or going against their conscious? Masking pain and guilt with little pills, or another shot of whiskey (called spirits for a reason) is the demon-possessed road to hell. Hell is not a fiery hole we go to when we die, it is the battlefield in the mind. Possession is something that we hold onto, like guilt, shame, secrets, and so on…

In the context of romantic relationships, we have been bamboozled. Since 1963, when the little pill to subvert consequences was introduced, the sexual revolution began. Music, movies, and magazines promoted promiscuity and the illusion of the luxurious life that came from it. There was no escaping, and divorce rates began to soar. Spouse swapping, sexual experimentation, over-stimulation from images, and porn took couples to new levels of temporary euphoria and the guilt that came with it. The sad truth is, several generations later, women and men are living a nightmare of traumas past.

This is my opinion; I believe that sexual promiscuity is not the natural order intended for healthy life-long relationships.  This is why trauma bonding is so prevalent and abundant in society today. The ongoing cycle of trauma, due to one or both partners being subjected to an unresolved past, creates red-flag triggers polluting the natural order. Masking the pain of failed relationships and the guilt with pills, with spirits, and the next drug-induced trip is not the solution, it is the problem. We were never designed to have multiple partners, as we bring all the baggage and hurt from one relationship to the next. Yes, I realize that people change for better or worse. Some people are not the same as they claimed to be once married or committed and staying with someone “till death do us part” is not only wrong but misguided when actual abuse is prevalent. However, this is not what I am witnessing. What I am witnessing is people being plagued by unhealthy thinking, and an attack on feelings and the natural order.  

We have become dopamine seekers, and when the pleasure is wearing thin, we bolt and look for our new supply. Fighting to be right, arguing irrelevant points of view, and selfish ambition rule in the hearts of modern relationships, rather than learning a simple solution, to love one another. Understanding gender roles should not become leverage for the next argument or the next shaming tool but embraced and valued. It is not true that men are dogs and all they think about is sex. It is equally not true that women relish the idea of changing their men. The pressures of life are mounding, but it is more difficult by adding layers of past trauma. The pollution of the billions upon trillions of memes, gurus, podcasts, and social media influencers has us in a constant state of confusion  

Releasing the possession of past pain, hurt, guilt, suffering, or trauma is no easy solution, but it starts with the bondage carrier. Very simply put, “You can’t change the past, but you can forgive the trauma holding you in bondage”. Taking responsibility and admitting wrongdoing is the first step to healing a broken heart. In the case of being a victim of abuse, letting go of the past trauma through forgiveness. There is hope for the demon-possessed, the narcissist, the evildoer, the question is who has control of the strings to our hearts. Do we submit to the evil manipulators intended to divide us or embrace the sympathetic and loving nature of the followers of good?


Many followers of good, seek to mimic the traits of a man from Nazareth, the living example of the nature of our creator. His name was Jesus the Christ also known as the Messiah. It is said that he came to set us free. Free from what exactly? Free from the bondage or possession of past traumas egocentric behavior, selfishness, etc.  

I can not overstate the living life with the fruits of the spirit, it is the only solution for broken hearts. Love trumps hate, and the fruits of the spirit conquers the possession of evil.


Love always,
William John

---