Love Stinks

I know the cliches like, “It is better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all”. Sure… However, for all the optimists who speak the rhetoric, the problem is our understanding of the word love. In many cultures, the use of a single word to demonstrate the way we feel for someone is not wrapped in a single verb. Love has so many meanings, and it gets thrown around like a lead balloon at times, describing feelings of lust or romantic chemistry.

I was recently challenged in my use of the word love. I do love, at times, to a fault. I love everyone, and I try my best to exude and display a love for people that is genuine and without any expectations or conditions. But, loving enemies or those people who fall short of my desired expectations is where the rubber meets the road, or better yet, putting love into action. Some people I just don’t click with, and yet, I love them. Other times, I have incredible chemistry for someone, and yet, I struggle to understand those feelings driving me insane. Understanding is the key to putting love into action toward someone, and in today's world, we need more love and understanding than ever before.

My understanding of the word love comes from the Bible. Much of the New Testament was originally inked in Greek. In ancient Greece, there are seven different words to describe feelings which were adopted into the single broad English word for love. Each word has a distinct meaning: Eros (passionate, romantic love), Philia (friendship, affection), Storge (familial love), Agape (unconditional, selfless love), Pragma (practical, long-term love), Philautia (self-love), and Ludus (playful, uncommitted love).

A simple scripture in the Bible such as: “Love thy neighbor as yourself” or “Love thine enemies” takes on a whole new context when understanding the original Greek words used. Agape is used in the original letters for loving one another, which not only means unconditional or selfless love, but it includes being kind-hearted, goodwill, and hospitable. It is the most widely used word used to express the feelings of love in the ancient Biblical letters.

I posted on my Facebook feed other modern expressions of love, I found the video meme to be absolutely brilliant, and the creator is a genius in my humble opinion. Here is the list of love from the creator of the meme:

If you love someone for their looks, it’s called obsession.
If you love someone for their kindness, it’s admiration.
If you love someone for their money, it’s called interest.
If you love someone because they love you, it’s empathy.
If you love someone despite their flaws, it’s genuine acceptance.
If you love someone through thick and thin, it’s genuine commitment.
If you love someone for their mind and knowledge, it’s intellectual attraction.
If you love someone deeply even if you’re apart, it’s your emotional connection.
If you love someone and prioritize their happiness over your own, it’s selflessness.
If you love someone for the way they make you laugh, it’s humor-based affection.
If you love someone for the shared experiences of memories, it’s nostalgic driven love.
But, if you are confused about whether you love this person, it’s definitely love.
If you find yourself caring more with each passing day, its love growing stronger.
If your thoughts are filled with them even in their absence, its love becoming constant.
And if you can’t imagine a future without them, it’s love that has become a part of you.  
 
One of the hardest things to navigate in today’s western culture are romantic relationships, and I think I understand why. The little devices that we hold in our hands give us temporary dopamine hits of adrenaline. Over the decades programmers have been creating ways to make us dependent on everything from radios to the latest I-Phone. Also, scientists have been experimenting with drugs, such as meth, cocaine, and marijuana, designed to mimic brain activity in the prefrontal cortex, the same area that is highlighted during romantic encounters. Due to the programming and scientific advancements we have become pleasure seekers, dopamine creepers, and a slave to the addiction machine. I do realize that there are more reasons that romantic love is fleeting, but understanding the key elements of dissolving bliss is paramount for changing behavior.

The bible has lots to say about the end of days, such as:
We will become seekers of pleasure, rather than seekers of God. We will be lovers of self with no natural affection.

It is a very interesting time to be living, and for most of us we seem to be doing wrong. Confusion drives our hearts, so we seek therapy or the next relationship guru to help through the muck. Most of us desire a life partner, as we were designed this way. We were created to love rather than hate, however with the constant stimulus of our mind, we’ve become adrenaline junkies even if it means sitting in bed all day scrolling mems or playing the next Game of Thrones on our game console.

Is there an end to the madness? Not if the programmers can help it, keeping us insane is the game, and creating profits from prophets is working magic on our souls. The sex driven adrenaline that was designed by a loving Creator has been highjacked to create division and confusion. Many people are ready to fight and argue due to the feelings inside not aligning with the programmer’s agenda.

Love is like magic. From family to foes, to the tip of our toes, when we put others before ourselves, we can feel the magic of loving action. Love is the verb with so many meanings but can be wrapped up in this, “It is better to have loved than to not fall into the trap of bitterness towards people who didn’t reciprocate” …

Lately I’ve told a few people “Good Luck Out There”. Anger and hate from pointless arguments designed to divide need to dissolve if we want to grow in love. There is truth, but trying to get people to see it is difficult with all the programs designed to divide, let’s be mindful that we are living in a minefield of misunderstanding and contentions from the plethora of lies, deception, and manipulation.

Nobody ever said it life would be easy, but it is easier when love is the driving force of our lives. Striving to be better.

Love always,
William John

PS   - Love Stinks was a song by J. Geils Band (Peter Wolf) in the 80s, I just thought it was a catchy title to todays blog....lol

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